My Big Fat Journey.....

My Big Fat Journey

Tuesday 15th January 2013

Okay, well, today is the start of the rest of my life journey.
Nearly three years ago, I went to the docs’ and asked him for help. Last ditch attempt at  help with my ballooning weight..

Having been overweight all of my life ( I was 7 stone age seven and 14 stones aged do the maths...) due to a weird upbringing (sorry, neither tittilating or exciting, just weird!), I had reached the dizzy heights of 6 lbs and felt every day of my 57 years and a couple of decades on top!

As a young adult, I'd managed to 'top out' eventually at about 15 st but a car-crash (more of a shunt really) when I was 42 completely knocked me for six, leaving me with bad nerve damage in my back (although this was not diagnosed at the time ...a tale for another time methinks!), whiplash and concentration problems. I was also going through an early menopause so I was, in fact, a right mess.

Having been very active before the 'shunt' I became almost immobile because of the pain in my back but had to keep working as we had four growing pre-teens/ teenagers .    The result was my weight crept up...and up...

I joined a gym and tried to go on my way home from work of an evening but the pain was unbearable.  None of the usual over-the counter analgesia worked until my cousin gave me some Solpadeine. Magic! Not a complete relief but the edge was definitely taken off. 

However my knees were starting to give me problems too - grinding and feeling like they would dislocate on the machines in the gym and I was frightened of doing them serious damage so I passed the membership to my daughter.

New Year five years ago, I decided I was going to do some power walking. I still walked my daft Springer Merlin in the evenings with Nic before work so it was just a matter of putting a bit more 'oomph' into the pace and application - Merlin was a bit porky too, so it wouldn't do him any harm to lose a couple of pounds!

I didn't reckon on Plantar Faciitis. How painful this is....! So that was that - no more walking. But I didn't want to cave at the first hurdle, so I borrowed by daughter's cross-trainer and promptly hurt my knees.

This eventually became the most excruciating thing I had experienced to date - Baker's Cysts behind my knees.  

In the joints is a lubricant called Synovic fluid and when you overuse/abuse the joint, the capsule containing this lubricant can spring a leak, causing the fluid to create a fluid-filled sac behind your knee. Very painful.  But there was worse to come. I saw one doctor - he had no clue and treated it with a cortisone injection in the knee-joint, despite my telling him this was not plain arthritis, this was something else!  

I found out what it was on tv - one of those 'fly-on-the-wall' shows set in an emergency dept of a hospital. A chap came in with the very same symptoms!

Needless to say, the injection was useless and the pain persisted until one day, getting out of my car to go to work and - pow! - a small explosion in my knee, closely followed by what I can only describe as an acid attack on my leg tissues radiating both upward and downward from the knee. The sacs had burst, releasing the Synovic fluid into the tissue of my legs and this stuff is not meant to be anywhere except within the capsule of your joint! 

It bleddy well burns like battery acid!

The doctor's advice, when I attended the surgery on two sticks? 

'Don't weight-bear.'

Now, I am a woman of faith, I believe in positive mental attitude but I have yet to learn the secret of levitation....!  Don't weight-bear. Oh, and '..throw away your heeled shoes - you'll never wear them again...' !  

'The remainder of my life in Crocs..?', I asked him and he nodded and said yes, very probably.

Fortunately I ignored this sage advice and still retain my Laboutins.....

After two years on sticks, Nic paid for me to go to a private sports physiotherapist. Two ten minute sessions and my knees have been fine since.  I don't climb ladders or mountains, and they don't give me acid attacks! The back pain continued to worsen though.

I was already on meds for hypertension, I had NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease), plantar faciitis,  bad knees, bad back, severe depression.....   Where did I start to deal with this lot?

Sleep apnoea was the next ailment on the list. And very unpleasant and scary it was too!  Did you know that this condition causes:
*Weight gain
*High blood pressure
amongst lots of other things?
Associated with SA is another condition Sleep Paralysis  which I experienced several times and is terrifying!

Did you know that SA is quite often claimed to have been cured by bariatric surgery?
I should imagine that's because of the weight-loss rather than any other cause. I know for a fact mine decreases when I lose weight and gets worse when I put on.

So, having seen a couple of Bariatric procedures on the telly and then having researched them online, I decided it was time to do something pro-active whilst I was still fit enough to attempt it.  

I decided that the one thing that would improve, if not cure most of these ills was to lose a significant mount of weight and I knew I couldn't do it alone. Neither could I, at my age, fast approaching 60, afford another abortive attempt at dieting and failing.
All in all I was in a bad way when I went to my GP, who is usually less than useful so I was expecting an argument when I met him at the surgery to ask for help.

Of course, I'd asked for help with my weight many times in my life and every time was told 'stop eating cream cakes' or something equally fascile and given a diet sheet. Useless of course. 

Diets put weight on you - even I knew that (well, none better actually, as I think I'd done every diet in the book and even invented a couple!)

So, I took a different approach. I asked for a gastric band. (I actually didn't really want one at the time but thought it might shock him into helping me in some way).

I was so amazed at his reaction!  He was pleasant, helpful and informative! He told me he'd be delighted to put me forward, that I'd be an ideal candidate for it!

He also informed me that I had to commit to certain changes in my lifestyle and attend some courses and therapy groups. I said I would do anything to  get this other woman off my back!


The next few months were filled with attending a group at my local village hall. It was arranged by Aintree Hospitals and was called Aintree Loss under the NHS umbrella.

From 9:30am - 12:30pm we did three disciplines.
First came the dietician who taught us about food groups (protein, carbohydrates, fats) and calorific values etc ( I didn't learn anything new here but it was still good to have a refresher).

I was amazed that there were peeps there who genuinely had never heard there were food groups and said they 'didn't always read the packets on the food' they bought.....  !!  

Personally, I buy few 'packets' of anything except perhaps dry goods like rice and pasta. Cauliflowers don't need a packet to explain what's in them!

Second came the psychology bit which was baffling, initially. I didn't 'get' a lot of what the lady said and I consider myself reasonably intelligent. But I did try....

Thirdly was the physical exercise.   
Equipment was placed at 'stations' around the room and we were timed on each piece as we did  three minutes apiece.

This went on for, I think 17 weeks.  I actually looked forward to it and was quite disappointed when it ended.

Then there were the 'group' psychotherapy sessions.

I really didn't think I'd like these. I'm not a 'joiner'. I'm a bit of a loner and the idea of sitting with a group of complete strangers letting out our woes and angsts....
  "I am Eileen and I am a fat person..."

I couldn't have been more wrong!

What a great bunch of peeps I met at group - we're, mostly, still in contact.
And it was a bit painful at times as our friends (for that was what we'd become) poured out their innermost worries and discovered over those weeks so much about each other and ourselves.

I cannot recommend a CAT group highly enough and especially the one run by Head of Psych. Ruth Carson and her sidekick Uma Patel at Rathbone Hospital, Liverpool. 

And so I started my journey to understanding WHY I was the way I am.


Having done all the groups and courses and jumped though every  hoop presented by the powers that be for over two years, I was invited to my assessment day at Aintree Hospital where I, and the others in my group, would meet a surgeon, a dietician and an anaesthetist, be weighed and measured, have bloods and swabs taken.

There was a group presentation. We met a couple of the health professionals from Phoenix Healthcare, a private group who must have won the tender for this work from the NHS.  

We were shown a film and had the different techniques of bariatric surgery, the pros, the cons and everything in between.  The possible problems were stressed and I felt as though we were actually, gently being put off surgery, unless we really understood and wanted it, warts and all.

We then had one-to ones with Katherine the dietician, Ewan the anaesthetist and the surgeon, whose name I didn't catch. We filled in questionnaires and were interrogated by the health professionals and had our photos taken.

It took the whole afternoon and I didn't get out until nearly seven.
We were told we'd hear in the New Year from the surgeon selected.

My surgeon was supposed to be Rob Macadam but apparently he’s playing golf  or something so I’ve got Mr Shafiq Javed instead.  That’s cool—I didn’t particularly take to Mr. Macadam on the phone so no problem there. 
I do, however, seem to remember Mr Javed from the assessment day and he seemed, like the other health professionals there on the day, very nice.

I have today, started the liver-reduction diet I need to follow for two weeks before my bariatric surgery on 29th January 2013 at Aintree Hospital’s Sefton Suite. 

I got Nic to take pics of me in bra & pants (horrible sight! LOL!) and weighed in at 20st 6 lbs, so exactly a stone lighter than my heaviest which means I'm already doing something right.

The Diet

Just goes to show that even when you think you know it all (and even if you DO know most of it...!) you can still learn a thing or two.

WE all know that fats are bad for your liver. They're bad for your gall-bladder and they're bad, in excess, for most of your vital organs.

We know that sugar is bad for your teeth, your waistline and your blood insulin levels but did you know it is very bad for your liver too...?

I didn't.

Now I do.   The above diet is to shrink your liver. To do that, it's reducing the carbohydrates in your diet. 

Sugars are carbohydrates and occur in most of our food - even the natural foods like root veg and fruit (fructrose)  and milk (lactose) - I already knew this as I did Biology at 'O'level and it was also part of Domestic Science.

What I didn't know was that sugars retain water very efficiently, so when your diet is high in sugar, your liver becomes odaemic  and swells like a sponge.....

Hence, remove the sugars from the diet (hence mini-Atkins) and you pee like a stallion and find your ankles again!

Hopefully, the liver follows suit and shrinks significantly. We'll soon find out!

Here are my  'before' photos. I'm not proud or vain - been fat far too long for that!


I won't put in all the water I drink but I aim for around six-eight glasses a day. Don't always succeed as I have a husband who steals unattended glasses of water and puts the glasses in the dishwasher, whether I'm still using them or not! (I wish he was this well-trained in other respects!)

Today Tuesday 15th January

Breakfast:-  1 Weetabix with 100ml of skimmed milk 
                 1 sml banana.
                 Herbal tea .

Lunch:-       4ozs Cottage cheese and two Ryvitas.
                 Herbal tea.  

                  Bottle of Oasis during the afternoon.

Went to a group meeting, so didn’t have ‘tea’ as such—the meeting was at 6:30pm-  but finished off the cottage cheese for supper as I wasn’t really hungry but knew I’d need something before fasting for the night.  More water.


 Wednesday 16th Jan  2013 08:15

Quite peckish this morning but not starving by any means.  Chap at group last night suggested taking another pic in a t-shirt or top that fits me, for comparison later on.
Also, he suggested measuring all my important little places—will do this when Nic finishes his brekkie of Scotch pancakes….How cruel is he…?

I’m trying also to normalize my sleep pattern.  Because Nic works permanent nights, I, a natural night-owl anyway , have slipped into a semi-nocturnal pattern, as I can’t lie in bed overlong anyway cos it kills my back/leg/hip/whatever this evil in my lower left quarter is.  So I tend to stay up till early hours (3:00– 4:00am isn’t unusual) and get up about 10:00am when the postie sends the dogs crackers.

So this week, I’ve been going to bed at about 11:00pm and I actually wake up quite naturally at about 7:45—8:00am, well before Nic comes in, so I seem to be becoming able to lie in bed longer too.   Interesting!

Gonna pop down now and see what I fancy for my brekkie. Think I’ll have scrambled eggs as we bought fresh ones on Monday.
See ya’ll later!
Did the t-shirt pics and will measure in a mo.

8:45am Breakfast:-

2 scrambled eggs 
2 small slices of granary bread. Light scraping of low-fat spread.    
Mug of tea with dribble of milk from allowance.
Multi-vit and Mineral tablet.

12:45pm Lunch—
5ozs peppered mackerel wrapped in Iceberg lettuce leaves.
100ml fruit & vitamin juice
…..mmmmmmmmmmmm….yummy again!

6:00pm Dinner        
4oz trimmed sirloin steak 
2 Tablespoons of mushrooms and onions in oxo ,
3 sprouts
1  low fat yoghurt     


Thursday 17th January
I woke early again—6:45am—so I read for a bit and dozed off again until 7:30 when I got up, went down and sorted the dogs.  I put porage on for me and Nic and it ‘dinged’ as NIc walked though the door, so that was good timing!

8:45 am Breakfast:-   
Three tblsps of porage made with half and half skim and water
  Mug of herbal tea

...oooh! I just looked on the sheet and porage isn’t mentioned...I hope it’s okay,, ‘cos it’s in ma tummy now! LOL!  I just rang the dietician and it’s fine!

1:00pm Lunch— 
2 slices cooked chicken
2  small slices of granary bread and scraping of low fat spread.
100 ml fruit juices

 Mug of herbal tea

Small bowl of home-made beef stew  (4tblsps)
4 strawberries  & half a banana
Half a small (170g) pot of  Total fat-free natural yoghurt
Mug herbal tea

This isn’t bad at all as diets go!  I’m really enjoying my food and I’m trying very hard to eat slowly and chew, chew, chew!  I’ve remembered my multivits every day so far.


 Friday 18th January
The first snow of the winter today—absolutely freezing out— so staying in! Got too much to do anyway—really behind on my cardmaking!  
Nic's off for six nights now so we were hoping to get lots done but he's come home with a horrible cold. I just hope to goodness I don't pick it up as it might stop the op.

I weighed myself this morning—20st 1lb   a loss of  5lbs of water! I must be doing something right! LOL! 

11:00am Breakfast     oooooohhh...a bit late today! Just got sidetracked a bit
  2 poached eggs
  2 small slices of granary bread and a scraping of LFS
  Mug of herbal tea


2:00pm Lunch        
 5ozs fish
 4 strawberries
  Half of a small (170g) pot of Total fat free natural yoghurt.

  Small bowl home made beef stew  (about 3 Tblsps)
  100ml fruit juice


Saturday 19th January

8:00am  Breakfast
 3 rashers of trimmed, lean back bacon

 3 Iceberg lettuce leaves  3 tsps. Fat free mayo

  Mug of herbal tea

11:45am  Snack    
 I Orange

 1 Banana

2:30 pm Lunch   
2 poached eggs

 2 small slices granary bread.

 Mug herbal tea

Mug of Coffee dribble of milk

7:00pm Dinner      
3 tbsps. Cauliflower

 2 oz cheese

 200ml  Skimmed milk

 3 slices of very thin boiled ham

 1 tsp thickener (mainly potato starch)

  Mug Coffee

Today has been the hardest day so far. 

I was still hungry after my breakfast and as a result, had to have my fruit snack which then threw out my timing for my dinner.  I think I slipped up, not having carbs for breakfast—should have had the poached eggs for brekkie and the ‘Phoenix BLT’ for lunch. 

I never realized, before attending my courses, how important WHEN you eat is.  I would go happily all day until about 3:00pm without a thing passing my lips except water!  My family always used to wonder how I managed to keep the weight on .  That, of course, was until dinner when the mountain on my plate told its own story! LOL!

By that time, I could have eaten a scabby horse and chased the rider…..!

And, of course, ‘well, I’ve not eaten all day, of course I can have a slice of that pizza, if you’re cooking one…’ to my Hubby, when he was making his own supper.

 Had he not asked, I’d not have bothered making my own.

Hubby, of course, if not a stick insect, is very fit and active and can eat pretty much what he likes without gaining weight. Including all the foods I avoid like the plague like Pizza, Christmas cake, Scotch eggs, pasties….you name it!  I call him ‘bread-basket’ ‘cos he can shift half a loaf at a sitting with soup.

I don’t know if the weather has had an effect—it’s freezing and has been snowing for two days, which is unusual weather for Liverpool. My girl dog went nuts when we let her out in the garden—she’d never seen snow before!

But I think I stuck to it pretty much—not sure if the teaspoon of thickener I used was a cheat or not. Not that I would be cheating anyone but myself. 

I haven’t had all the dairy allowed  (apart from today) so have bought a couple of fat free yoghurts to bridge the calcium gap. I’ll have fish tomorrow to shore it up further.
Haven’t weighed my self again—I’ll do it on Tuesday morning before starting the second phase.

Only ten days now til d-day and starting to get a little apprehensive/excited!


 Sunday 20th January
11:30 am Breakfast  (oops...very late so decided to combine brekkie & lunch into ‘brunch’.
 2 scrambled eggs
3  trimmed. Lean rashers of bacon
Mug of tea with dribble of milk from allowance.

Mug of coffee

I deliberately didn’t take anything from cereals as I have been craving a baked potato so I shall have one for my Dinner today!

 6:30 Dinner    
1 medium jacket potato baked in microwave
1 small tin of ‘no drain’ tuna
1 tsp ‘lighter than light’ mayo
 Handful of lettuce and spring onions.

I really enjoyed my food today— in fact, I’m enjoying the experience—I feel better and found my ankles again! LOL!


Monday 21st January
8:30 Breakfast        
2 small slices of granary bread
2 hard-boiled eggs
2 teaspoons of lighter than light mayo
 Made toasted egg mayo  sandwich
  Mug of tea

2:00pm  Lunch         
  At Ikea!
 Gravelox salad  (smoked salmon to you! LOL!)  
  1 coffee
  1 tea

7:30 Dinner     Disaster! Bought stir-fry  veg box from Morrisons—didn’t notice it was the ‘spicy hot’ variety until I put it in my mouth!  Aaaaaarrgh!
I ate it anyway as it had my chicken portion for the day in it but overdosed on
water afterwards to quench the fire!  Won’t do THAT again!
A handful of Stir-fry veg
Spray oil
2 tsps. Soy sauce
A little cooked chicken (not 3 slices)
Water….lots of water….!
Banana ( more to smother the flames than for hunger’s sake!)

Phew! Won’t make that mistake again!  Even Nic was scorched, so it’s not just my 'new' palate!
I feel soooo uncomfortable! My belly feels like it's about to explode!  I guess my stomach has shrunk after a week on small portions and I just went and stretched it again with water......lesson learned the hard way.

Tuesday 22nd Jan

 Stomach feels a bit more normal now! LOL!  

8:00 am Breakfast

2 poached eggs
2 small slices of granary bread
scraping of LFS
Mug of tea with a splash of LFM from allowance.

Sadly, I forgot to weigh myself before brekkie! Subsequently I weighed in at 20st dead. Had I remembered I may have actually got below the 20 which hasn't happened for some long time.  Still, I have another week to go - I'll get out the celery....! (diuretic food) LOL

2:00pm Lunch
Small tin of 'no drain' Tuna
a little fresh basil
three lettuce leaves to wrap
two sticks of celery.

Herbal tea

Snack - stick of celery

7:00 Dinner
White boil-in bag cod
Petit pois

Herbal tea


Wednesday 23rd January

Well, best laid plans and all that.....! LOL!  I AM really trying to stick to a mechanical eating plan, even when  I don't feel like eating, and I KNOW it's the best way because I feel so much better when I do it.
But today, despite being up early enough, I still didn't get brekkie in until lunchtime which threw my lunch back til 4:30pm.........  Not good enough, I know. But I HAD to do some stuff on the pc as time was of the essence and I had to make a very important birthday card, just in case the recipient decided to drop in unannounced. I then had to wrap two pressies, in my usual over the top style by which time Nic had got out of bed, had his shower and was wanting to go shopping for a new bed for the spare room. 

The big rush for the bed...?  When I woke up this morning, I had a dog on my legs pinning me down and a husband lying on top of me, pinning me down! I decided I didn't fancy that happening after the op.....!  Who's in the new bed? He is. It's not a bed for heavy peeps.  

But I'll be able to use it one day because I actually weighed myself today, BEFORE brekkie this time, and I've dropped, if our scales are to be believed (I'm not sure I believe them actually)to a jaw-dropping (to me anyway!) 19st 11LB!  That is not possible! That is a whopping 9LB ! In eight days!
I have never been below 20st in years, try as I might!  I got down to 20st but just could not crack that threshold.

I'm going to have to join the gym again, even if it's just to use their calibrated scale! is my eat-out for today.

12:30pm Breakfast 
3 slices of lean boiled ham

Herbal tea

4:30 Lunch
2 poached eggs
2 small slices of granary bread
Scrape of LFS

Glass of Oasis

Small pot of fat-free Total yoghurt
4 strawberries
half a banana

Not sure about dinner yet as I'm still full as a bull from lunch! Nic's back on nights tonight so back to a routine of sorts and my eat-out will be back to normal times.Fortunately, I don't seem to have got the lurgi from Nic (yayy!) so hopefully the op will still happen.

Nic emerged from his cocoon at 8:00 pm so it was a very late dinner for me - I dislike eating so late but today has just been like that. I'll do better tomorrow.

8:00pm Dinner 
4oz beefburger
3 lettuce leaves to wrap
2 spring onions
2 sticks celery

Glass of 'lite' cranberry (disgusting stuff!).

Well, that's it for another day! See ya tomorrow!

Thursday Jan 24th

Not especially hungry this morning but I know I'm best eating.

9:30 Breakfast
2 weetabix 
100ml skimmed milk

Mug of tea and dribble of skim from allowance

Snack : Banana

2:00pm lunch
4 oz Cooked chicken
2 celery sticks

Herbal tea

Snack: 1 orange

8:00 pm Dinner

5oz No-drain Tuna
three lettuce leaves

Small pot of Total fat free natural yoghurt

Mug of coffee 
Skim from allowance

I never seem to use much of my milk allowance, so perhaps that will make up for any mistakes I make and miss! Another late dinner.....   It's because Nic is on nights - it's the only time we see each other really.  Breakfast - time is a flurry of him grabbing something to eat and getting undressed and into bed and me getting up, washed and dressed, seeing to the dogs and then getting my own brekkie. Once the postie's been and the dogs have gone nuts and calmed down, Nic can get some shut-eye.


Friday 25th January

It's flippin freezing today so I need a warm brekkie!

8:45 Breakfast
2 eggs
2 small slices granary bread
scrape of LFS
Mug of  tea with dribble of LFM from allowance

2:00 lunch
5 ozs drained tuna
three lettuce leaves

6:30 dinner
1 small bowl home made mince and vegetable stew (only a quarter of a small potato some carrot slices and mainly mushrooms)
1 small fat-free Total natural yoghurt
4 strawberries

Saturday 26th January

Had a rare lie-in today which meant my brekkie was 11:00am instead of my usual 8:45.  Poor Nic was frozzled when he came in from work - which is why I stayed in bed to thaw him out (nothing other than heat was exchanged, I can assure you!)! I am his official hot water bottle and bed-warmer!

It WAS extremely cold last night and the roads when I took him to work were lethal with ice and snow.  We saw many cars stuck, not being able to gain purchase and I'm sure there will be a few insurance claims going in today!

11:00 Breakfast
1 small bowl of leftover stew from last night
Mug of herbal tea.

6:00pm Dinner
Haggis, Tatties and neeps......

Okay, okay I know...probably not on the menu really but I've had no bread since brekkie yesterday and despite having some stew, it was mainly mince, mushrooms and Oxo and I was cold, it was hot and my Hubby had just downed a huge, steaming bowl of it with bread.

I did redeem myself by only having a tablespoon of each and I didn't partake of the Scotch my OH liberally poured to accompany his!

I could have lied and written a pristine catalogue of what I SHOULD have eaten but I didn't. I don't tell fibs usually, so why change that now?

We're having a family meal for lunch tomorrow and they're all going to partake of my diet! I thought this would be a fitting 'last supper' with my family before d-day.   


Sunday 27th January

My beautiful family are coming over today at 2:00pm for lunch.
The poor souls are getting what I have been eating on my liver reduction diet and are probably going home for a feed! LOL!

11:00am (again! TUT!) Breakfast

1 slice of chicken.
Glass of water.

2:00pm Lunch
Bowl of salad
Three slices of chicken
Small fillet of Mackerel (about 3 ozs)


Snack :  banana

6:30pm  Dinner

2 scrambled eggs 
2 small slices of sourdough bread.


They survived, apparently.....


Monday 28th January

Only one day to go.....!  Oooohhh....!  

8:00am Breakfast
2 scrambled eggs
splash of LFM from allowance


snack: Banana

.....ooooohhh....Hubby and I just had fish and chips...! From the chippy! The smell was amazing!  But, as I am a good girl, I left him with the chips and all the batter! I only had the white fish. How restrained is that...?

2:00pm Lunch

1 Small fillet of white fish  from fish-bar
Large coffee from Mc D's

See, you can still live the high life.......!

9:00pm (far too late but had visitors again!) Dinner

3 slices Cooked Chicken
Small baked potato
2 tbsp cabbage
2 tbsps Oxo gravy.


I guess that's it now......   Just finish off bits before I go into hospital. I've made the new bed up and changes our bedding as if Nic has ever learned to make a bed, he's kept it very quiet for the last 40 years.....

I'm knackered tonight. Been up since 7:00 and didn't get much sleep last night.  No, I wasn't worried about tomorrow, but Nic is a bed hog and I ended up sleeping  with my elbow crushed against my bedside table and my feet dangling off the edge of the bed with one dog behind my knees and another in  the crook of my crushed elbow. He'd actually back-heeled her off his side of the bed....

I know it's not thought to be hygienic to have your dogs, even small ones, in your bed, but the way I see it, I always have and never fallen foul of anything. Then again, I've shared a bed with Nic for 40 years and so am probably immune to 99% of household germs and parasites.....

Just as well I thought of getting that spare bed...he's gonna need it for a little while!



Tuesday 29th January 

5:30 am - Shower and dress and ready for Hospital.
6:15 am good friend Roni arrives and taxi's me and Nic to Aintree Hospital in Fazakerly.

Sefton Hospital is the small BMI unit attached to Aintree Hospital. 
It's modern and very clean and has an eclectic selection of artwork on the walls.

7:00am -arrival in my room (room 9)

It is spacious and clean and has tv, phone and an en-suite wet-room - I've stayed in much worse hotels!

Nic waited with me until about 10:30 when I sent him home to the dogs and there was then  a succession of medics in and out for bloods, admission forms and advice.

Eventually given a gown ( first time ever and hospital gown was actually too big! LOL!) and paper knickers which I donned and was then wheeled off to theatre  ( no timings as I wasn't wearing a watch...) where not only the jkob in hand was done but the surgeon also relieved me of a troublesome gall-bladder at the same time -  not an easy feat laparascopically as it was full of stones - and large ones at that.

Woke up and was taken back to my room.

Had drips attached to the canulas in the backs of my hands (serum in one and analgesia in the other I believe) and a naso-gastric tube up my nose. I was also attached to a monitor and a blood-pressure cuff which automatiaceely took the reading every half an hour or so and a finger-clamp pulse reader on my right index finger. Both of my legs were encased in inflatable 'gaiters' which 'pulsated' and I quite liked this as it reminded me of my dogs sleeping on my legs! These were designed to guard against DVTs in the legs.

The television was a nice enough box but was just basic freeview so nothing much on it I wanted to see really and, of course, my visitors arrived just in time for the only think I DID want to see - Holby! - Typical! 
Considering this lot, I was quite comfortable and pain-free - the biggest discomfort was the VERY dry mouth, made worse, I think, by the oxygen mask running freely.  So glad I brought plenty of bottled water and my dry-mouth spray!  The nurses were very attentive and good at filling my jug of water but it had that 'hospital' taste to it so I was glad to intersperse it with the Perthshire water Nic had thoughtfully bought for me.

Had more bloods done and and a shot in my tum ( Fragma apparently. Fragma and I would be friends for about three weeks post op and is used to thin the blood - another guard against any clots) and soon I was tucked up on my adjustable armchair watching tv and reading my Kindle.

About 10:30 I asked could my bed be made up as my coccyx was starting to ache with sitting so long.

All tucked up in bed watching Miss Marple and quite comfy and when it was time for bo-boes, I was happy to drift off except for the flippin' monitor which kept beeping. I asked Ann the night nurse about it and was advised that was just the way it was - they couldn't turn it off - well, I kinda KNEW that!  Then a little while, I woke up with a start! An alarm was going off on the monitor -apparently the battery had failed.

Once that was sorted, I got to sleep about 2:00am. Sadly, the same machine threw a hissy again at 5:30, so not much of a sleep really!

Wednesday 30th January 

5:30  Got up and had a wee and at about 9:30 they came and de-wired and de-plumbed me from my machines, but leaving in the canulas.

My Romanian Haemotologist was called Daniela Vlad and, delightfully, she is from Transylvania! How fab is that?  I have to say, she is a very good vampire and didn't hurt at all although one of the blood-thinning drugs used, burned like bloody hell. Oddly enough, the second day it didn't...?
I was now able to go for a wander and did go for little walks around the unit with Nadia, another of my lovely attendants.  I then was treated to warm water with peppermint in for the wind but I've been very lucky so far and not suffered from it, although the peppermint was nice and refreshing anyway.

Finally, I got a cup of coffee - which was wonderful!

I walked again at 12:30pm and, apparently, could have a yoghurt for my lunch (which I enjoyed enormously!  I'm writing in retrospect here, having not had access to my pc in hospital).

(Some rotten torment was making TOAST!)
For my dinner I was allowed a soup so I picked the sick-bed favourite of tomato. Oh how delicious that little drop of tomato soup was!

Later I had peppermint tea and a further coffee! Oh the high-life indeed!

My brood came to see me again - first Bev at about 4:00pm and Matt too later on. I'm so proud of my family that it is always a joy to see them and in hospital is no exception.

By now it was apparent I would probably be going home the next day - my doctors expressed amazement at how fast I was recovering and how well I was looking, so Bev made enquiries and arrangements to phone back at 10:00am the next day. Provisionally they were letting me discharge between 11:00am and 2:00pm.

I had further visits from my anaethstatist and surgeon and from my dietician to ensure I was capable of following the necessary post-op directives.

An afternoon/evening of dozing/tv/kindle followed and I had no problem at all getting to sleep after two hours of Marple (again...!).  Sadly, after an hour or two of warm, comfortable sleep, it was necessary for the night nurse to come and wake me to take obs! Bugger! So that was me, awake from 3:30 am.
I did have trouble getting out of bed as there was a stitch pulling about 5cm to the left of my navel. I felt if I rolled to the right it would definitely rip but I couldn't roll to the right because of the trolley and the bedside cabinet.  Fortunately, with the help of my hair-clamp I was just able to reach the buzzer, otherwise I've no idea how long I'd have been stuck there.
Ann & Karen helped me up and I got comfortable back in my chair.
Ann said not to worry about the stitch - it wouldn't tear and to just take the pain relief but it's hard not to be concerned about it - the other stitch doesn't pull and there's no pain from anywhere else.

Thursday 31st January

By 7:30 I couldn't wait to go home. The peculiar smell of the oxygen (why does it need a smell?) was turning my stomach and I had a bad taste in my mouth that no amount of tooth-brushing was shifting.  

For some reason, all the oral medications given in the unit ( and perhaps elsewhere for all I know) were deemed necessary to be delivered in a disgustingly sweet thick syrup. To be honest, I cannot conceive that the meds themselves could have tasted more unpleasant un-garnished! Blechhh..!

Mr/Dr Seeth came to see me a couple of times and was pleased with my progress. He said he was confident I'd recover in a speedy manner.

I mentioned the pulling stitch to him but he seemed unconcerned, just said to follow the aftercare instructions and make sure I kept up the pain relief even if I didn't think I needed it as it would help me keep mobile.

I had porage for my brekkie (luvverly!) and chicken soup for lunch. I was very glad, however, to be home by dinnertime!

I was quite irked to find, when I got home, that I had managed a five pound weight gain whilst in hospital. I'm sincerely hoping that this is water and odaema from the op!

Finally, I  got my strong tasting savoury dinner to kill that horrible sweet taste!
I pureed a fillet of smoked mackerel into some natural fat-free yoghurt...lovely! And it fixed the taste.

I was home and the road to normality could be begun!

I won't bother mentioning water because I kinda sip it all day, except for before and after meals.

I was given a post-op diet to try to follow but realized I'd be having only liquids and mush for the first few weeks and it would be a while before I could follow the guidelines properly.

For now, I was advised to try to keep to high-protein and low carb where possible but not to worry about it or calories for the minute as just getting food IN was more important.   

I'd managed liquids whilst still in hospital and so I could now graduate to what I politely term as 'mush'!

A ramekin dish per serving three times per day with a snack of yoghurt or sugarfree jelly morning and afternoon. A milky drink before bed was suggested too. 
Friday 1st February
Slept well, up and dressed at 8:00am. The pulling stitch was worse and I had a bit of pain getting out of bed because of it but once up and dosed with all my favourite meds (NOT- yeuch!) I was fine - it just hurt me when I stood up/sat down/walked.....!

8:30 am Brekkie 
small pot of porage

20 mins later peppermint tea

The pain relief (co-codamol) pretty much knocks me out and makes me very thirsty so it's a toss up between sipping and dozing. Dozing won this morning.

2:00pm Lunch
2 tblsps Pureed roast chicken dinner
Peppermint tea

4:00pm snack
Small pot banana/fruit puree dessert

4:30pm - I delivered my Fragma injection myself. By gosh it stings!

6:00pm dinner
Chicken soup


I've been walking around the garden very gingerly and holding onto my 'stitch'. The dogs think I'm barmy 'cos it's actually arctic cold out there, even if it is sunny! They stayed inside.....

Nic is on nights again so once he goes out, I just go to my studio and FB a bit.

Up and down about four times with the dogs so getting plenty of exercise!

Bed is lovely. Seems softer and more comforting than usual. I'm really enjoying this aspect of it.  I don't, however, enjoy getting out of bed as it hurts the 'pulling stitch' a lot, whichever way I do it. 


Saturday 2nd February

Slept very well again but it (then pulling stitch) hurt a LOT getting out of bed. Tried to ring the Sefton Hospital number but just NR for about half an hour between 8:45 and 9:15 am.  I guess all the nurses are busy. If it gets worse I'll ring Lesley for advice. Can't hang about - gotta do meds and brekkie.

The good news is, that five pounds just plopped off again..! I weigh 19st 12lbs today...!

9:15am Brekkie
Half Small sachet instant porage 

Peppermint tea

2:00pm Lunch
Wanted to do chicken soup but couldn't open the tin....! (how pathetic is that?)  Luckily I have a few pots of mush available to me...!

Small pot of Spag bol (very little spag - just a little vermicelli)
Peppermint tea

Walk around the garden. The dogs were very brave and came with me today ...for about 20 seconds!

4:00 pm snack
Small pot fruit puree dessert


5:00pm Fragma jab

7:30pm Dinner
Chicken Soup

Pulling stitch is really quite uncomfortable today - much worse than yesterday so I've taken pain-relief supplied and tried to move around more, even though this is what 'pulls' it more.


Sunday 3rd February

....hellllppp....!  After a really good night's sleep (got to say, no sleep apnoea since op) I got stuck halfway out of bed. The 'pulling stitch' was like a red hot poker every time I tried to move either way. Nic wasn't much help as he's really not well with a chest infection (which I sincerely hope he'll keep to himself...!) and couldn't bear my weight to help.  In the end I got him to get on the bed behind me and lean backwards, pushing me upright.

Jeepers! The pain was incredible!  I think I'll make sure I take my pain relief BEFORE attempting to alight from my bed in future!

I hope this troublesome stitch heals soon!

I was late to bed as we were watching a film and so I was late up today and we had back-to-back visitors until 7:00pm.

I managed to squeeze my ramekins in!

11:30pm  Breakfast
Half pot of fat free Total yoghurt
2ozs of wafer thin ham pulverized.

2:00pm  snack

Small pot of banana/fruit dessert

4:30pm  Lunch
Scrambled egg with LFM

6:00pm Fragma jab

8:00pm Dinner
White fish in parsley sauce pulverized
1 Dessertspoon mashed potato

Only seem to be passing motions every other day and it's like having my IBS back! But at least it's all working...!

Got to have my clips removed on 8th Feb, so that should be interesting....!

Monday 4th February

Didn't have a good night - lots of grumbling and growling from the plumbing and some discomfort behind the sternum as well as that blasted stitch pulling.  Not the best sleep I've had....

Woke up properly at 7:00am and managed to find a way of 'wrolling' and pushing my way off the bed that didn't hurt the stitch too traumatically but couldn't take my pain relief because I'd forgotten my stomach protector which I have to take before anything else.  

It killed me to stagger, holding onto my stitch, into my studio where the meds  were to get the little tablet and then to the bathroom

I fully intended taking a shower today but I'm in far too much pain, plus Nic's not well and I'd need him to at least be around, just in case.  He doesn't hear me if I call - hence I just have to find ways of doing stuff myself. 
Having a bit of trouble juggling the meds and timings with food and drinks. It is a bit like a bad board game...!

Like :  Meals:  Breakfast, lunch & dinner with two snacks.  Okay, that's simple.

First 3 weeks the food must be either liquidized or pureed.  Still simple...

Take a chewable complete multi vit and mineral tablet every day...yup, can manage that.

Now it gets a bit more complex....

Can't drink fluids for an hour before or twenty minutes after meals. So Pain relief has to be taken, sip by sip an hour before breakfast.  

Breakfast is getting later and later........!

Pain relief should be taken four times a day.......

Are you beginning to see the logistical brow-wrinkling going on...? LOL!

So, this morning, I had my stomach protector, then sipped my pain-relief before getting out of bed and realized it would be an hour before brekkie would occur.   

Nic had decided to sleep on the sofa on the living-room as his chest was bad and he wanted the fire on as he slept. He was still asleep and I didn't want to disturb him so I decided to stay put for an hour.  

I read my kindle for a while and then managed to nod off! Hence it was midday before I got brekkie....! Ooops!

12:00pm Breakfast

2:30 lunch
Pulverized boiled ham and mash.  (delicious!)

Whilst he was out with Bev yesterday, Nic had a rare romantic moment (brought on I think by my going missing into hospital for a couple of days - he didn't like it! LOL!) and gave me an early Valentines present.  Two little heart-shaped ramekins!

In case you didn't realize, this is the measurement of what I'm meant to be eating in this 2-3 week period of purees & liquids.  So I served my boiled ham mash in one of them!

How cute is that? LOL!   However, I couldn't finish it all, to the delight of my little dog Charlie!

5:30pm. Di

Oxtail soup

8:00 snack
sugarfree jelly


Tuesday 5th February

Exactly one week today I was on my way to the OT.

Significant perhaps then, that today I managed to get out of bed without having taken pain relief first. That 'stitch' isn't pulling nearly as badly today.  That, of course, could be due to the unexpected exercise I had to undertake at 1:00am this morning!

Wandered into my bedroom ready to hop into my bed and discovered a bottle of water OPEN right in the middle of the bed! Aaaarrrgh!

Princess Lola had nicked a bottle of water from somewhere and decided to chew it on our bed!

Didn't have a choice - it had to be stripped before the puddle made its way through to the mattress! 

What a pain! But oddly enough, it didn't hurt, so I managed.

I slept well and woke naturally at 8:00am when Nic came in from work.

I was desperate for a shower and shampoo (not had one for a week!) so had the bright idea of wrapping cling-film around my abdomen, to keep my dressings dry.   So, I conveyed this idea to Hubby who dutifully went to the store-cupboard where such things are kept.

'Arms up...' commanded Husband and being the dutiful wife of my generation I, of course, did.  

That TIN FOIL was COLD....!

Having explained I wasn't an oven ready turkey, I sent Hubby back to the cupboard and this time it was a roll of sandwich bags.....
Finally Hubby worked out what cling film looked like (, the tube with 'cling film' printed on the side of it...) and started to wrap.

Minutes later, I'm seeing this stuff as second only to Spanx! I had a waist! LOL! 

I had my shower and my dressings were saved, although I was careful to keep the water mainly in the back of my head.

9:00am Breakfast.

Scrambled egg with a little LFM

12.00 pm Lunch

Pot of fat-free yoghurt with five cherries (chopped up)

4:00pm   snack/dinner

Black pudding (barley type) pulverized with chopped canned tomatoes
(so tasty!)

Oasis drink

If anyone out there is thinking of taking this path, can I just suggest you try, before undertaking surgery, using the ramekin dish measurement for your three meals a day and pop two snacks in, all of healthy low-fat foods of course.   You end up having to do this anyway, so how much better if you do this without undergoing the trauma of surgery..?

Try to eat only. No reading, tv, chatting with pal etc etc. as you do forget to give 'a minute a mouthful' when you do something else at the same time, plus, you really are advised to THINK about what you're eating. 

Recognise the texture, the flavour as you chew. So often (I know I did!) we grab something, wolf it down because we're 'busy' then we wonder why we're 'mooching' for something else later on. It's because we haven't allowed ourselves to recognize that we have, in fact, eaten.

8:30pm snack
Fruit puree

Small interesting fact, the new bed is still as pristine and unslept in as when it was built (upside down...) a week ago.  Why..? Because Hubby has been sleeping ON THE COUCH! Spare me.....!


Wednesday 6th February

Didn't sleep quite as well but it wasn't the op, it was Lolli, the pup who decided at some time in the night, that my legs were more comfy than wherever she had been sleeping......! It was also a bit chilly - still not made the bed properly from when she soaked it as the bedding has been drying.

But, I did get out of bed without benefit of pain relief!

For me, that's a biggie as I would like to ditch the co-codamol as soon as possible.  Don't like taking 'stuff' unnecessarily.

I've weaned myself down to one, instead of two at a time so that's better and I'm getting a bit low on them, so I rang the doc's for some more.

Slight hiccup as they need to see the packaging has my name on it and I can't get there. I'll have to wait for Nic to get up or one of the kids to materialize!
I was up at 7:00am and had my stomach protection immediately.  Thought I'd have brekkie before pain relief as that's really the way you should take them.

7:30am Breakfast

Porage with LFM

10:30am snack

Cottage cheese


1:30pm   Lunch

Pulverized white fish in parsley sauce
a little made up instant mash to thicken

Pain in my 'stitch' has eased now or moved as I now have it a little higher, about 5cms up from my navel and about the same to the left of it. Feel I need a soft belt or something to hold it firmly.

5:00pm  Dinner

Saw some recipes on the support group and thought I'd try one of them.

2 tbsps Baked Beans  
1 tbsp  grated cheese

Not the best Idea I ever had!  Clearly, other peeps had no problem with this and I loved the taste but - oh! - my tummy didn't!  I thought I'd switched the cheese for cement mix.......!  Won't do that one again for a while. I'll stick to my own recipes I think!

8:00pm Snack

Cottage cheese

By the time I went to bed, I felt a lot better and slept well


Thursday 7th February

Rude awakening this morning!  

My husband made arrangements with my daughter to look after our lickle grandson Toby, who will be two years old on Friday, for the day.

We normally have Toblerone (as I call him!) on a Monday as he doesn't go to nursery on that day, but because I was newly out of hosp, really, on Monday, Bev didn't bring him, arranging with the nursery to have him Monday and a family member to have him today.   

Unfortunately the family member fell ill so big-licks Hubby offered his own services, despite being on nights the night before and still poorly with the chest infection, for which I'd finally bullied him into getting anti-biotics and steroids!

I pointed out the flaw in his plan (!) and was informed, 'oh, it's okay, Michael (number two son) is coming at midday to look after Toby, so I'll have him in the morning and pass over to Michael when he comes. All you have to do is boss us around and change any anti-social nappies... (!!)...job done!'

Now, the ladies amongst us will appreciate that two men - one old, ill and just off nights  and one relatively young, but very single and also just off shifts are not the equal of one, even poorly, woman.   But, it had been arranged. I was told - you just ignore us and do your thing.......

Flaw number 1.

Nic gets home 8:30 - 8:45am.    Toby turned up at 7:30am.......

Okay, Bev forgot the time difference and she did do his brekkie and wait for me to haul my, still not inconsiderable, bulk out of my pit to get washed and dressed. 

I had no clothes ready, expecting Nic to be there to give me time to sort myself in leisurely fashion, and can't get to some of them in the mornings 'cos I still can't bend easily down to bottom drawers.

So I had to throw on some clothes, grabbing a pair of boots as I passed!

My daughter is an amazing woman. She's a grafter, she's an action-woman, she's practical, opinionated and other words, apart from the loud bit,  just like her mother 30 years ago....! And like the whirlwind she is, she carries everyone along with her. 

Baby Toby was in his high-chair eating his scrambled egg & toast and watching 'Mike the Knight' before you could say Jack Robinson!

'All you have to do Mum, is sit there and watch him until Dad gets home.'

Fortunately, her son is equable and almost as interested in scrambled eggs as he is Mike the Knight, so I was confident that this would be the case, which was just as well as I felt a bit spaced out by the rude awakening!

Nic wandered in at 8:50am  'What's Toby doing here?'  'You arranged to look after him, big mouth, don't you remember?'  'Yeah, but I told Bev I wouldn't be home until now...'

What's that expression about 'mice and men'...?

Flaw number 2!

Michael arrived at about 10:30....absolutely streaming with cold!
I  told him I didn't think he should be around the baby or me with it but when he texted Bev, there was no-one else.

I really needed Mike as I couldn't get to the doctors for my script and to the chemist to have it filled without his driving ability (Nic, of course, doesn't drive - that would be FAR too useful...) so we decided to get Toby into the car and do the necessary. 

So, Hubby comes down from the bathroom where he'd been for about half an hour and it's decided he might as well go to bed as Toby was ready for his nap and would probably sleep in the car, like he always did.

So, having initiated this carnage and cacked up Mike's day and my day, off he went, to the land of nod!

Flaw number 3

I think Michael may be the re-incarnation of Sir Donald Campbell. Bluebird didn't have any suspension and I did wonder if my car would have any left by the time we got to the doctor's surgery, which happens to be, conveniently, in our local hospital.  I think he actually took flight off a couple of speed-bumps and I have to say, my confidence in Mr Javed's needlework rose to that of pure admiration, when it remained intact for the whole journey!

I was sitting in the back as it was easier to access in my drive than the passenger seat and Toby squeezed my finger for the entire journey. Affection or terror? I couldn't be sure...

No that things got any better in the surgery.  I'd had to take the packet of the soluble Co-Codamol the hospital gave me to the surgery to 'prove' it was in my name. I had to remind them - it's co-codamol, not Heroin! But, I understand potocol, I'm a child of the 50's so here I was.

'I'll ask the doctor to do it.'  
'I'll wait.'
'No, you can't wait.'
'Why not?'
'Cos I'm not doing it NOW....' hands spread showing me the crowds of people, all jostling for her attention - not.
'It's supposed to be waiting for me - you just needed to see the packet.'
'Well, I can't do it - I just can't.'
'Why not?'
'There's no doctor here.'
'It's a medical centre and a hospital and there's no doctor....? I asked about this yesterday. The lady on the phone was VERY HELPFUL..she said she'd get doctor to sign it for picking up before 6:00pm yesterday. My son just couldn't make it at such short notice. He's come off night shift to bring me here!' All very controlled and quiet. 'It should be ready for me'

All the time she's shuffling papers and looking very busy with everything except me.

'I can only ask him to do it when he comes in. You'll have to come back.'

'HOW? I can't drive because I've just had a major surgery and my son has to get to bed at some time. I can't ask him to come back again.'

I'm feeling somewhat tired and uncomfortable by now and am hanging on to my belly like an expectant mum.

She's clearly looking for a pad of some kind to write the request on.

'...OH!' she exclaimed, ' 'She's done it! It's here....'

'I did tell you it was....'

Nowhere in this exchange did she utter one word of apology or ask if I was okay, because I'm sure I wasn't looking my best by this time!

Big smiles. 'Would you like me to add it to your pharmacy's list...?'

'NO...thank you..'  I would like this today, not in a week's time after it's gone walkabout amongst the chaos on her desk 'I'll take it thank you.'

That was much MUCH harder than it needed to be.

Got to Boots and, clearly, it's a conspiracy. 'It'll be 20 minutes,' the pharmacist told me cheerfully.

'I cannot stand here for 20 minutes - I've just had an operation.'

'Well, I'm too busy to do it now, so you'll have to come back.' and he walked away!

Now I would very much like to say that these two occurrences are out of the ordinary in my neck of the woods but, unfortunately, they are about the norm. 

I occasionally have a 'health professional' who is empathetic and helpful, like the lass who I spoke to on the phone previously to arrange the meds. She was a joy. Sadly, she's in exclusive company.

That's why I was so blown away by every WLS professional I have had contact with on my journey. Were they recruited form another planet? Or just not in my locale?

Each one has made me feel as if I was relatively important - no, scratch that - very important - my dietician has telephoned me for a progress report three times since I left hospital a week ago -  whereas I seem to always be a blessed nuisance to the others, which I wouldn't mind, if I was, but having been well brought up, in the generation from which I am, I tend not to complain, just accept, smile and vow not to go back again. I shudder to think how their treatment would affect someone less robust.

By the time I got my meds, I needed to be home and that's where we flew.

9:00am Breakfast
Chicken & ham paste blended into
Total fat free yoghurt.
(I didn't fancy porage today)

1:30pm Lunch
Boiled ham
Carrot & swede mash
Pulverized with
Canned, chopped tomato and
Total fat-free yoghurt.


Bev came for Toby at 3:00pm and much as I love the little tyke, I was glad to see the back of him. I left Michael reading the paper in the living-room with an apology and went to bed!

4:20pm the groomers came to the door with one of our dogs - the other was to follow at 5:00pm. Just as well really, as I'd still have been asleep!

5:00pm Snack
Muller light toffee yoghurt

7:30 Dinner

Tesco Fresh Witshire Pea and ham soup
Delicious! Really nice - unlike the tinned c**p

I feel fine now - I'm over the tiredness of earlier and no pain or discomfort to speak of....this, of course, may not be the case tomorrow!

I remember 'next-day' gym syndrome!


Friday 8th February

.....oooohhh....! I knew I wouldn't get away with yesterday's adventures unscathed...! LOL! I'm not hurting (thank goodness!) but all I've done today is sleep!  Why are daytime naps, so much nicer than night-time ones?

The dogs have snuggled up with me too, under the throw, because they were both scalped yesterday.

Sadly, both of our dvd players (the one in the tv in the 'nursery' and the one in the living-room have bitten the dust so that will have to be redressed before 18th Feb because Master Toby will not be impressed if he can't watch Mike the Knight and Peppa Pig at half term!

He is two today and is having a little family tea with Mummy, Daddy and big sister Ada so we will see him tomorrow when he has his 'public' party at the 'soft-play' by us.

I've made him a Mike The Knight card with two badges on - one each for him and Ada - and bought him the helmet, shield and foam sword. No way could you give our boy a real sword...! Well, not unless you don't value your ribs, eyes, shins...etc. anyway!

Feeling good again, apart from the tiredness, but suspect I may not have had enough water today as I have yet to acquire the talent of drinking whilst asleep...

11:00 Breakfast
100ml Protein milk shake

2:00pm lunch

Mackerel fillet
Total fat-free yoghurt
Tuna & a little sweetcorn
Pulverized in mouli
Delicious and tasty!

4:00pm snack

Muller light toffee yoghurt

6:30pm Dinner

carrot & swede mash
Total fat free yoghurt

Sadly, I only ate about four teaspoons of it before I had an unfortunate accident!

I pulverized it as usual, but clearly missed a bit of chicken.  

It truly was an accident, I didn't realize it was there and had I chewed properly, I'd have found it and disposed of it but just on that spoonful, my dogs suddenly jumped up and barked furiously....right down my right ear. I swallowed in fright.

It stuck, wouldn't come up and I drowned in mucus from all upper orifices, even my lungs! Clearly my body reacted to it but I just had to wait it out....

Several hours and gallons of mucus later, I recovered.......!

Anyone want to buy two strangled fluffs...?

I did manage a protein shake much, much later on.......!

I will be much MUCH more careful from now on......!


Saturday 9th February

Off to hospital to have my clips (staples) out....! (ooo-er..!) at 10:00am so just had a protein shake for brekkie.

Needn't have worried - didn't feel it (well, hardly anyway..!) and the tech/nurse couldn't have been nicer!

We also went to my local 'soft-play' with my little grandson for his second birthday (it was actually yesterday but we couldn't 'do' soft-play on a week-day due to work) and Toby and his little big sis Ada (4) had a whale of a time!

Thrilled to weigh myself and see 19st 3lbs....Yayy!

8:30am Breakfast
Protein shake

11:30am snack - coffee

1:00pm Lunch
White fish in sauce
Mashed potato 

4:30pm Snack - fruit jelly

7:30pm Dinner
Chicken soup


Sunday 10th February
Got up and out of bed with little problem today. Had visitors all day so got little done.

8:30am  Breakfast
 Protein shake

11:00am  Snack

Sugar free jelly

 2:00pm Lunch


carrot & swede mash
Total fat free yoghurt
With some extra canned tomato to thin it!

It was very delicious this time and more from lumps! LOL!

6:00pm Snack 

Muller light Toffee yoghurt

8:00pm Dinner

Boiled Ham 
Cauliflower cheese
Total fat free yoghurt

Delicious as it was, this didn't go down well and my tummy rebelled.  Don't think I can 'do' cheese yet, except for poss. cottage cheese.
Wasn't good......


Monday 11th February

Nic was going foraging with our friend Brenda in the local shops so I asked him to get me some 'Cal-In Plus' yoghurts, as I am aware that I don't have enough dairy and so these yoghurts are meant to help you absorb more calcium from your diet.  We'll have a go...
(I had my first shower after my clip removal today, as I had to keep the wounds dry so I was a bit late with brekkie!))

I weighed myself and nearly fell off the scale....!

18 st. 13lbs....!   Woweee.....!
I'm the amazing disappearing woman...! LOL!

10:00 am 
Porage with LFM

Cal-in Plus yoghurt

2:30pm Lunch

Tomato soup

6:00pm Dinner
Chicken Soup

8:00pm Snack
Muller light toffee yoghurt

Tuesday 12th February

Hurt like blazes today. Must have done a bit too much yesterday so will be a slob today, with the exception of a wander around the garden.
To be honest, it's that cold today, sitting on the couch with a woollen throw and a dog under each arm, watching a movie, is pretty much the job! LOL!
John Wayne was the man.....! LOL!

9:00am Breakfast

11:00am snack
Cal-in yoghurt

2:00pm Lunch
Chicken soup

4:30 snack
Cranberry sugar-free jelly

7:00pm Dinner

Three spoonsful - couldn't eat any more. (getting heartily sick of slop...)
Had a Cal-in instead.

It's flippin' pancake day too.......bummer!

Started to run out of recipe ideas now - it was easy to begin with - blend everything into natural fat-free yoghurt, but I don't have much dairy normally and it's starting to get a bit sickly now. I'll have to make some home made soup as I don't care for tinned at the best of times.

Gosh! Am I beginning to become a picky eater at last......?

Just looked at the ingredients on the Cal-In Plus yoghurts.....11% carbs! Aaaaarrrgghh......!  I guess Nic and the kids have a few yoghurts to eat!
I don't even LIKE yoghurt! Booo-hooo.......

................and to put the top hat on the day, I spoke to the hospital today about my 'scalded' abdomen (I've a patch on my abdomen about 5cm to the left and above my navel that feels like it's been scalded. I can't bear any clothing against it...) and the ward doctor says it's nothing to do with my op but it could be SHINGLES! Just what the doctor ordered.....

I do so hope it's not - I prefer the idea that the nerves are just a bit irritated due to the op - at least that will not blister and keep me away from my grandbabbies...!  Just have to keep an eye out for the rash over the next few days.

Wednesday 13th February

My abdomen is hurting like billy-ho his morning! Between the 'pulling' stitch (only when getting out of bed or trying to bend down now) and the 'shingles/nerve damage' scald it was very uncomfortable gettting out of bed but I managed.

9:00am Breakfast

11:30am  Snack Cranberry lowcal jelly

2:00pm  Lunch

Parsnip soup (canned but entirely delicious!)

3:30pm Snack

7:00pm Dinner

Home made 'kitchen sink' soup

My home made 'Kitchen Sink' soup is exactly what it says on the not-tin!  Everything but the kitchen sink!

I had in my fridge a collection of meats and veggies which needed to be used before they spoiled so I threw everything into my pressure cooker and it was yummy!

2 onions
head of celery
4 small sweet potatoes (which are more like carrots)
2 carrots
2 parsnips
2 full packs of lean back bacon with all fat trimmed
Split yellow peas
a pack and a half of cooked chicken
Fill pot with water and stick on for about 20 minutes.

Sadly, the pulses caught a bit but, fortunately, didn't taint the soup/stew.

Hubby has it as is, I pulverize mine with a little milk.

Got to wait for Hubby to go to work at 9:00pm before I can make his Valentines pressies.


I've only come on to brag!
This evening I have made for my Hubby's Valentine pressies a goey chocolate cake boob (complete with cherry...!), two chocolate hearts - one dark and one white and about ten little chocolate fruit & nut sweets! And I didn't have any of it at all, even when I grated the chocolate...!

Pat on the back for me I think....!

Thursday 14th February

Felt rotten today when I got up. I have an upper respiratory tract infection and had no voice to speak of but neither did I want to cough! 

I was also hurting all over and felt very weary so as soon as I'd washed and cleaned my teeth, had my stomach protector and my brekkie, I went back to bed for a couple of hours, or at least that was the plan before the phone rang.

Now, it's one thing the phone waking you when it's next to your elbow but the spare room (Nic is still on nights and so I get up when he gets in...) doesn't have a phone yet and Nic was asleep so I had to take on the obstacle course of my studio and get the phone there.

I do so wish there was a button on phones though which you could send  10,000 volts...! Flippin' foreign call centre with a 'survey'!  Grrrr...!

So after a little lunch,  the dogs and I took up residence on the sofa instead....not as comfy but at least I didn't kill myself fielding the phone.

I slept a lot of the afternoon away and was only really 'compos mentis' after about 5:00pm - terrible waste of a beautiful day. I hope it's nice again tomorrow - I'll risk a walk to the postbox if it is.

9:00am Breakfast

12:30pm Lunch

Home made 'kitchen sink' soup

3:00pm snack - sugar-free jelly

5:30pm Dinner 

Cottage cheese

7:30 snack - 

Tiniest bit (2 teaspoons?) of NIc's cake blended into natural yoghurt & milk (I know, I know....! LOL!)

I expected to dump, but I didn't and when I thought about it, there was probably less sugar in those 2 teaspoons of sponge cake than in some of the yoghurts I've had. It's all trial and error I suppose but I won't be doing it on a regular basis, it's just that a) it's was Nic's Valentine cake  b) I cannot for the life of me remember the last time I baked a cake - I was curious if I had poisoned him - and c) I cannot remember the last time I ate any chocolate cake. There is also d) I usually detest chocolate cake....!

Nic loved his Valentine's pressies and card and went off to work a happy bunny!

Off to make some cards!


Friday 15th February

Up handy again as NIc needed the bed. Chest infection no worse but no better either.  Don't have temp though so I'll just leave it for now. Can't even have my usual honey & lemon!

9:00am Breakfast

12:00 Lunch
Tomato soup

3:00pm Snack
Blended Total fat free yoghurt with punnet of raspberries. Had half, kept half.

7:00pm Dinner
Kitchen sink Soup (a bit thicker than the canned kind but still drops off spoon.)

Very sleepy again today - kept nodding off on the couch with the dogs.  Got a couple of walks around the garden though today - it was another beautiful day.  Didn't get to the post-box though - will try again tomorrow.

Catherine rang again today for an update - her last phone call before my 6 week check up. I'm very impressed she is so diligent. She seemed happy with how I'm progressing and what I have been eating.


Saturday 16th February
I'm in less discomfort every day and apart from getting out of bed (which is still painful as you use your stomach muscles to get up at some point) I feel grand.  Still 18st 13lbs though....hmmm.  I know there are going to be 'stalls' and I'm probably not eating enough at the mo (I just cannot stomach much more yoghurt and soup!) but still...nearly a week and no movement. I'll look again on Tuesday morning - my 3 week threshold and the end of slop and needles!

9:00am Breakfast


11:30am Snack - Glass of pure orange juice

2:00pm Lunch
Boil in bag fish and mash

4:30pm Snack   Sugar-free jelly

7:00pm Dinner
 Quiche! (no pastry of course) but I had a little spoonful and was fine with it so I had a little more.   Huzzah! real food!
I waited for the backlash! I can finally digest egg!


Sunday 17th February

...oh, I know exactly what I'm having for my brekkie today ....and it ain't porage (much as I like porage)!

9:00am Breakfast
2 poached egg yolks
Mashed potato

I cannot explain in words how divine this meal was!  I didn't pig out on the whites, although that's the high protein bit, as I'm still a little early for 'real' food and don't want to chance another attack of the 'foamies'! Twice was quite enough for me thank you very much!  Absolutely yummy.....

11:30am Snack Low-fat milky hot chocolate

2:30 pm  Lunch
Lamb & Veg soup (sic!)

5:00pm Snack  Sugar free jelly & fat free yoghurt

6:00pm  Glass of pure orange juice 


Monday 18th February

My lickle granddaughter stayed over last night! I love having her over  - she's a lickle darling and such a ray of sunshine!

I was up handy - Ada isn't a lack-a-bed - 7:00am!

7:30am Breakfast.
1 weetabix
100 ml of skim
 (don't like it swimming)

11:00am Snack - Fat free yoghurt and 1 oatcake

12:30pm Lunch
2 poached egg yolks
tblsp mashed potato
Half a rasher of very lean back-bacon cut up into little pieces and chewed thoroughly.

4:00pm Snack - Cal-in calcium yoghurt

6:30 Dinner
2 small slices corned beef
2 tbsp baked beans
8:30 Snack Cup of hot skimmed milk

I've felt rotten all day, which is a pain because I love Ada's company and I kept falling asleep on her.  My throat is still sore and I've had a headache. I don't think it's anything to do with the op - I think my damn Fibro is re-surfacing because I'm actually recovering well from the op.

Every time I'm ill - be it septic throat, tummy upset or gallstone attack, the Fibro receeds. I get a week or two after the illness of feeling epic and then the Fibro symptoms start to return.

I think I've eaten and drunk enough for it not to be malnutrition - now I'm on almost 'real' food I feel like a glutton! -  although I have hit a plateau at the mo. I think I now need to up my movement significantly now the discomfort has become minimal but I've just been too tired to make myself do it - didn't even get dressed today as by the time Nic got up at 11:00am I went back to sleep on the couch until lunchtime and again after (he took Ada out shopping so she was fine.)

Hope I sleep better tonight - getting fed up of sleeping on my back - I normally sleep on my right side but this causes abdominal discomfort so I don't do it.   I sleep best sitting up in my armchair but I know this is bad for circulation (causes a 'crush' in the veins and arteries in the groin area, making the blood 'pool' at the ankles) so I don't do this either unless desperate.


Tuesday 19th Feb  (18st 10lb!)

My lickle Ada is a complete joy but my goodness - she wears me out! LOL!
She managed to fall out of bed in the night and bang her little head so she came into my bed, of course, so bye-bye sleep! LOL!

7:30 am Breakfast

11:30 snack
banana (very ripe!)
Surprisingly, it went down very easily and gave me no problem at all!

2:00pm Lunch
Lamb & veg soup.

Ada went out for the afternoon with Uncle Mikey so I napped on the sofa for a few hours this afternoon.

5:00pm Dinner
2 poached egg yolks
Quinoa & baked bean mash

7:00pm snack yoghurt.

Won't need no rocking tonight! LOL!


Wednesday 20th February

Good start to the day - the central heating is bust and they can't come until tomorrow. No shower today then 'cos it's FREEZING cold today.

This 'home confinement' is getting right on my pip! Because Nic doesn't drive and we aren't within walking distance (at the minute at least) of anything in the least interesting, I'm going a bit 'stir-crazy'!

I have stuff to do and prescriptions to pick up and I can't get to anything unless I bother one of the kids. I know they'd do it in a trice but I know their lives and they have quite enough to do working for a living and arranging childcare whilst I'm so useless, without me putting even more pressure on them.

I'm used to being the Superwoman who does everything for everyone and it doesn't sit well for the boot to be on the other foot.

I've also had a few issues with the 'foamies'. It's really irritating when you want to try something a little more interesting only to foam over like an overfilled washing machine. It leaves you uncomfortable and disinclined to eat anything at all and then you're also worried about if you've taken in enough nourishment/water or if you have, in fact, lost more than you imbibed in the first place.

9:00am Breakfast


11:30am snack - sugar-free jelly

12:30 Lunch
Rice  (big mistake!)

no sooner had the rice hit than I realized my mistake!
Foamies and vomitus until about 5:00pm!

Didn't feel like eating anything at all afterwards.
Felt crap all night and only just managed my porage the next morning. Be so glad when I can eat on anything resembling a 'normal' way.....
At least it was my last Fragmin injection - and it blessed well hurt like a bugger!

All in all, tearful and thoroughly pissed off today and will be glad to go to bed!


Thursday 21st February

British gas were here bright and early and fixed the GCH. Thankfully Nic was here to see to the engineer as I feel like death warmed up. My head is banging and I ached all over, due- I reckon - to the up-chucking and upset of yesterday.  Pyjama day I reckon - my tum's too sore to tuck into jeans.
I wanted to go out today but don't think I'll manage it yet.

9:00am Breakfast
Porage (what else?LOL!)

11:30 snack  yoghurt

2:00pm Lunch
Corned beef and baked beans (very tasty!)

4:00pm snack Low-fat Hot chocolate drink (Highlights)

6:00pm  Dinner
2 poached egg yolks
Quinoa and bean mash (great protein meal)

I waited until Nic went to work and had a lovely shower and girly (well, as girly as I get anyway! LOL) ablute, with lovely scented body lotion and foot-softener and warm towels.   Lovely!

Re-made the bed properly (dunno what Nic does when he's sleeping in the day  but the bed looks like there has been a bear-fight in it!) and had a decent night's sleep! Bliss!


Friday 22nd February

Today I am determined to go out under my own steam. I have parcels to post and prescriptions to sort and the food-cupboard is looking very grim...

9:00am Breakfast

Went to the post-office. I drove there so the dogs could come too - they must also be bored rigid with the four walls. Got some food-shopping in too.

I took another chance here. It was a gamble but I've not had bread for so long.....

12:00 lunch
Egg & cress sandwich ( I fed the crusts to the dogs and just had the middle which I was very careful to chew thoroughly.) It was a little bit of heaven on a plate....aaaahhhhh.......

2:30pm snack
Small individual trifle (scraped the cream off for the dogs)
Oooh two norty things and got away with them both! So much for healthy rice!
But I will be careful not to make it a habit.

5:30 Dinner
Half an individual Shepherd's pie from Tesco.  Lovely....

8:00pm snack - milky coffee

A good day today and, I feel, I may have turned a corner healthwise. Certainly hope so.


Saturday 23rd February   

Slept really well and got out of bed without the customary pain in the abdomen. Went back to bed after a wee and managed, at last, to sleep on my right side until 12:00!
This is a fab thing for me! I suffer from damage to the nerves in my lower back and sleeping flat consistently has been difficult. I need to change position several times per night to get a good sleep.

12:00pm Breakfast (hehehe...) 

2:30pm snack  Milky Coffee

6:30pm Lunch
Half a Tesco shepherds pie
A little oxtail soup as gravy

9:00pm Dinner
Seriously strong Cheddar spread
Two small slices of Bergen Soya & Sesame bread with crusts off

(This was seriously delicious!)


Sunday 24th February

Didn't sleep - more went comatose...! LOL! Oh! The joy of being able to turn over in bed again!  What's more, it doesn't hurt to get out of bed again in the mornings! Bliss!

Another lie-in - til 10:00am today - turning into a lack-abed! - when a pal telephoned. Good thing she did as I would have still been asleep at midday!

11:00am Breakfast
Porage (of course!)

Went out so didn't get snack)

2:00pm Lunch
2tblsps Tinned baked beans with sausage and 'burger' 
(probably horrendously unhealthy but , boy, did they taste good!)
1 slice of Bergen toast with LFS

5:00pm Snack sugar-free jelly

8:00pm  Dinner

Danish crispbake with cheese spread


Monday 25th February

Pretty much leaped out of bed this morning! No pain or discomfort, a night's sleep on my side - fab! I think I may be turning into a layabout! LOL!

9:00am Breakfast
Weetabix(not as good as porage but okay)

11:30am Snack - Toffee yoghurt

2:00pm  Lunch
Cottage cheese
Danish crispbake

4:30pm Snack  Milky protein drink

8:00pm Dinner (far too late!)
Home made mince stew (delicious but very hard to eat)


Tuesday 26th February

9:00am Breakfast
Leftover stew.  Couldn't eat it - don't understand why it's seeming so hard to eat - it's very mushy and the mince is small...?  I can eat egg sandwiches and crispbakes and toast but not stew.....? Doesn't make any sense.

11:30 am snack Yoghurt

2:00pm Lunch
Cottage cheese

4:00pm Snack  stewed apple

7:00pm  Dinner
Baked beans with sausage & burger (tinned)

9:00pm Milky drink


Wednesday 27th February

Felt great getting up today except for a huge headache - sadly the dogs woke me too early (5:30am) so I read my Kindle 'til Nic came in as I can't go back to sleep once I've had a few hours.

9:00am Breakfast

2:00 pm Lunch
Poached eggs and beans (I seem to be able to digest the whites now)

5:00pm Snack - Cottage cheese
8:00pm (too late...!)

Half a tesco individual Shepherd's pie

9:00pm snack - small pot of mandarins in own juice.

Mug of LF Horlicks

Need to start exercising now I'm not in pain.
Will try to do so over the next few days but it's difficult as I can';t leave the dogs for very long as they bark & howl when left and Nic is on nights. I'm not up to walking them just yet.

We'll see....

Thursday 28th February
Went to doctors today to ask for more Fastabs and Forceval.  Had something of a battle on my hands (again) but got the Lanzaprole (Fastabs) eventually. They won't give me the Forceval without speaking to the doctor. So that will be Monday then.....  In the meantime I have none left. Hope this will not cause any real problems.  Going to try and crush my Tesco's ones.

11:00am Breakfast

100g Corned beef
1 tbsp baked beans

1:00pm  Dinner
2 Tblsps Spaghetti Bolognaise
Slice corned beef

Milky Coffee

4:00pm Snack - FF Toffee yoghurt

6:30pm Dinner
Half Shepherds pie with canned tomatoes.

Friday 1st March

...white rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits......!
Had a very deep sleep and awoke with the postman banging on the door!

10:00am Breakfast
Fat free skim

12:00 snack Fat free yoghurt

3:00pm Lunch
White Fish in sauce
Mushy peas 
Mashed potato

Delicious but couldn't finish. Dogs loved it though!

5:00pm Snack  Cottage cheese

7:30  Dinner
Baked beans
Corned beef

I'm trying hard to get more protein in and get a balance of carbs as without carbs I feel tired all the time but too many - no weight loss.
Corned beef is great as if you cut off the outer fat it's nearly all protein and the one I get is salt-reduced too. Plus it's tasty and melts down in the micro really nicely.


Saturday 2nd March

Slept like the dead again! Making up for the light sleeps of the last few weeks I suppose!
Postman needs to learn how to deliver mail without breaking the door down....

Fell asleep again afterwards so another late day.

12:00pm Breakfast

2:00pm Snack:-  Yoghurt and half a banana

4:00pm Lunch
Smoked Salmon and cream cheese 'thingies' (like sushi but no rice)
Danish crisp bake

7:00pm Dinner
Corned beef
Mushy peas
Mashed potato
Baked beans
Grated cheese

Sounds a lot and a bit of a mish-mash but it was all the bits left in the fridge from yesterday and I added the cheese for good measure in the protein department.   Dogs finished it!


....ooops..! I thought I'd already written up Sunday's entry...! Clearly not, or else I didn't 'save' it...?
I'll try to remember.......

Sunday 3rd March

Nic was out with Rob & Dani this morning bright and early. Rob was caving for bats with an Ecologist colleague, so Nic went with the two dogs to keep Dani and Simba, their barmy Labrador, company.  So, I had a morning to myself! Yayy...!  Crafting without having to dodge fluffs and without my feet going to sleep because there is a dog asleep on each one!

8:30am BreakfastWeetabix

and I then forgot to eat until.......

2:00pm Dinner (oops again...) I only remembered because Nic & the kids came back...  I know, I know...! I could have lied about it but there's no point. If you undertake to do a project like this, there's no point in dishonesty.

Smoked Salmon and cream cheese 'thingies' (like sushi but no rice)
1 Danish crispbake.

4:15 snack - Fat free toffee yoghurt.

6:30 Dinner
Salmon fishcake with Gruyere
1 tbsp Mushy peas
I only managed half of this.

Milky coffee


Monday 4th March

I boiled up bacon ribs yesterday evening and left split peas and other veg in the stock to soak overnight. This morning before I had my breakfast, I put the pan on to simmer. 

I've not made 'Pea Whack' as it's called here in Liverpool for a few years - the bacon ribs are really hard to find these days - so when I sourced some from Morrisons (they've only just started to stock them) I had to buy them and make up some soup as I have an otherwise very clued up friend who had never heard of 'Pea Whack'!

Now before you ask - yes, she's Liverpool born and bred but must have suffered a sheltered upbringing to not have come across 'Pea Whack' in her 60-odd years...!  No true Liverpool diner worthy of the name would fail to have either this delicious 'soup' or it's close relative 'Scouse' on the menu. Not that all of these hostelries get it right, like....!

But I digress! More of the 'Pea Whack' later!

7:30am Breakfast (with little grandson Toby)
about two ounces of really lovely Brie
Half a small brioche finger

11:30am Snack -  A slice of boiled ham wrapped around low fat cream cheese

2:30pm (we'd been out shopping and only got back then) Lunch
A little rib meat and pea whack.

Only I didn't get as far as the soup as the meat stuck in my gullet for HOURS!

7:30pm Dinner  (finally!)
1 Danish Crispbake
LF cream cheese   

8:30 Snack  Baby pot of stewed apple.(mainly because I'm aware I'v not eaten enough lately but also for the vit c)

I couldn't have eaten anything more substantial after the rib incident! Clearly not ready for that yet! LOL! 

Clearly, I've neither eaten or drunk nearly enough today. Must do better.

Still having trouble getting prescriptions from my surgeon ratified by my GP surgery.  Now it's Forceval they don't want to give me. I ordered it when I ran out on day 28 post op - I actually took the packet to the surgery as per instructions of last time and STILL ended up with a big discussion with the receptionist with the added irritation of another, waiting, patient butting in with her two penn'orth! 

The Practice Manager finally came to my rescue and authorized the Fastabs  (Lansoprazole) but said they'd have to consult the Dr. before agreeing the Forceval!  It's a bloody vitamin supplement! I'm not going to hock it to junkies on the black market for goodness sake!

Well, I couldn't go back Friday - for one reason or another - so had to wait until today to go back and ask if it had been authorized.  Yet another receptionist and she didn't have a clue what I was going on about.  

Do these people not make notes on patient's files or something?  If I'd have run my files as poorly when I was working, I'd have got the sack! And I didn't have a computerized system to help.

Heaven help the National Health System when the peeps running it are as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

Tuesday 5th March

9:00am Brekkie
1.5 Crumpet with LFS

I just needed some 'normal' food.....!  I couldn't eat the second one so the dogs enjoyed that did I, and it didn't get stuck either.  I do wish I could have had a nice cup of tea with it though. I don't enjoy my tea as much any more. By the time I get a quarter down the cup it's stone cold.  I used to enjoy my breakfast tea hot and fairly fast. No more though.

We were off out again today. Not shopping this time (although I did go and do battle at Boots for my Forceval and won! LOL!) - this time it was far more important!

I haven't walked my dogs properly for many months. I couldn't walk 50 yards without being in complete agony and spent the entire walk looking for places to stop and sit to recover. 

 I have a back injury that's been with me since a car crash nearly twenty years ago. I got a measly £2,500 for it and it practically ruined my life for a good ten years of that as the pain was awful but I couldn't leave work because we needed the money. I couldn't claim any benefits if I left because my Husband is a good man and a diligent worker. I steadily put on weight because of my limited mobility.

 This was compounded by my GP not taking it at all seriously.   When I did go to see him three days after the accident, he just told me to 'go and buy some Neurofen'. He didn't examine me as 'Soft tissue damage doesn't show up on anything'.

Net result, by the time I'd complained enough and another doctor finally sent me to get it seen to (last year!), the nerve damage was so bad and ingrained that the physio couldn't do anything with it until my GP had put me on a nerve analgesia strong enough for her to work though what would have been too painful for me to bear without.

The new GP was very helpful and prescribed two different analgesics but sadly, neither of them agreed with me and fate, seeming to decide that this plus a rather unpleasant (understatement) double depression wasn't enough, decided to send me Fibromyalgia and gallstones as well.....

(If you don't know what this is, you're best Googling it as if I describe it here, I'll end up going totally off track! )   

Suffice it to say it's unpleasant at best and bloody painful at worst and can leave one bedridden. Happily, I never became quite that bad but it did stultify my remaining movement even more.

Getting back to my original theme, I have not been able to enjoy walking my dogs and I've really missed it!

Well, that's where we went! My very first dog-walk for many, many months! And I DID IT! I walked the whole of the way round our 'small' walk (couldn't even contemplate the long one just yet!) and only had to sit down once! I was so pleased with myself it's untrue!  I was truly beggared when I got home, mind you, but I DID IT! Yayy...!

I was, however, very late for lunch as the walk took a good while.
So we went to Marks & Spencer and I bought a couple of cous cous based salads.

3:00pm  Lunch
M&S Cous Cous and Goat cheese salad with lentils

4:30pm  Snack -  Yoghurt

7:00pm Dinner  (disaster struck again...!)
Home made Pea Soup.   

It got stuck and I just couldn't eat it.  (How can bloody soup get stuck but I can eat a blessed crumpet.....?)
I've now given up on it and fed the remainder to the dogs.

I ended up with a Carrot and Coriander Cup-a Soup that bears the legend 'High in Protein'.....

I also managed a Cranberry sugar-free jelly.

Hope tomorrow is better food-wise - I want me poached eggs!


Wednesday 6th March

Gone from bad to worse this morning. It's 1:00pm and I still haven't eaten or drunk anything.  I had my Fastab when I got up and then it all went horribly wrong.

Nic decided to let some 'Knackers' come in to trim a tree branch from our Prunus Kanzan.  I voiced my reservations but Nic does what he wants when he wants and my opinion counts for nothing.   Apart from any other point, you do not (depending on species of course)  prune a tree, especially Prunus when the sap is rising or running. You do it when the tree is dormant. 
'It'll be okay' says he, 'it's only the one branch at the back that I can't reach, that's all' and because we have this fussy woman who lives backing on to us who doesn't like birds or trees he jumps to attention, like she pays our mortgage or something.

Then, of course, I had to run to the bank to get money for these workmen, so that's me already late for my brekkie. Still, I thought, I'll have my porage when I get back.   

I got back, made tea for the workmen and went to the fridge to get the milk.
Only enough milk for the teas.  Nic had had three bricks of Shredded Wheat and most of the flippin' milk!  So that's the porage down the Swanee.

So, already not impressed, I made the tea and took it out to find the garden table absolutely covered in bird droppings!   Nic has rescued  a damaged pigeon and has been teaching her to fly - clearly on the table! 
So, I cleaned up the table and chairs (cursory wipe with an anti-bacterial spray) and put the tray of tea there.  

In the kitchen I'm wondering what to have for my brekkie and these men kept coming through with all these branches and logs....

They have decimated my Kanzan!  As well as the large branch (which I might add they have cut off from the trunk pretty much! Even Nic could have reached  there!  I thought they were just 'pruning'  not lopping entire branches off!) they have chopped off a lot of the side growth from the other branches 'tidying up' to an ignorant bloody knacker but Nic should have been instructing them.  A huge amount of blossom buds have been razed from my tree! Only the tips of the remaining branches have any growth on them.
What did Nic say? 'Oh, it doesn't matter, it'll grow again....'
I could go on and on about ignorant, stoopid people who shouldn't be allowed into a garden but I'm not sure my language would be published on Blogger anyway.

Eat?  I may never eat again!

1:30pm Breakfast
Porage (at last...!)

3:15pm Snack - Pasta& pine-nuts salad (just a little)
Glass of milk

4:00pm went to bed for about two hours as was falling asleep on my keyboard and not achieving anything.

7:00pm my son Matt came and fixed my pc for me Yayy...! My hero!

7:30 Lunch
Half a Tesco individual fish pie.

10:00pm Supper (what else could you call it...?)
Cottage cheese and  two teaspoons of peanut butter

Peppermint tea.

Very late to bed......... I should live in the Mediterranean - lickle nap in the day and up late!  Not sure how I'll ever get back to work like this though - imagine nodding off in work! LOL!


Thursday 7th March.

Started well by getting up, washed dressed by 9:00am to have my brekkie
then messed it up by forgetting to stop for a snack!

9:00am Breakfast
Skimmed milk

12:00pm Lunch
2 poached eggs
tiny bit of mash to catch the yolk

2:30pm  Snack - Sugar free cranberry jelly

5:00pm  Dinner
Half an individual Tesco fish pie  with a little passata for sauce.

7:00:pm snack - fat free frozen yoghurt

Haven't felt like eating at all today but forced myself. Found it hard today.
Lump in thorax and can feel the foamies coming on - why?
I understand why sometimes - I rush it or take on a bit too much but what on earth have I had today that could do this?


Friday 8th March

12:00 Breakfast (sorry, I did it again - I really HAVE to make an effort to go downstairs for brekkie before going into my studio......!)

Oatibix with skim and three chopped up strawberries (yum!)

2:00pm Lunch
1 slice Bergen Soya & Sesame seed bread - scraping of LFS
1 slice of pastrami beef
(absolutely yummy!)

4:30pm  snack Cottage cheese

7:00 pm Dinner
Tripe and onions
Mashed potato

Oh how I enjoyed this meal!  It went down so easily - no lumps, foams, discomfort of any kind and it was delicious! Fantastic! Not only that but it was really good quality tripe and tripe is almost pure protein, no fat at all. Just poached in a little skimmed milk with chopped up onions (sauteed very slightly first to make them more easily digestable) and thickened with a very little cornflour.

There were some leftovers so guess what I'll be having tomorrow for lunch.....!

9:00 Snack - frozen LF yoghurt
I have had such a lovely day today! I took my handmade Birthday cards to my darling DIL's parents as both of them have their 60th birthdays just two days apart. 

We had a really lovely visit - they were totally shocked at my appearance as they've not seen me since last year - probably at my heaviest - so to them my three stone drop is very noticeable.

Bill especially was gobsmacked! LOL!  

I always feel like an Amazon next to his petite and very dainty wife, even when I wasn't so heavy, so last year I just felt like Jabba the Hutt next to her size eight 4'8" frame! LOL! 

 I STILL feel like an Amazon but at least I'm starting to feel human again.   

On the drive home, it struck me what the difference is. I actually feel ALIVE for the first time in years! I feel like I've escaped from a soundproof, sensory-deprived (apart from pain!) semi-opaque solitary confinement.

Long may it last! My Fibro seems still to be in recess so still no pain....? Long may THAT last too!

I've been looking on the internet for jobs and I've definitely become less agoraphobic (and that was not because of being embarrassed about my weight - it's never affected me in that way for some reason - never been embarrassed, possibly because I've been overweight all my life and am now immune to the rudeness and bad manners of peeps who think you are deaf as well as overweight. Such people are beneath my dignity to even acknowledge never mind care about! LOL!

Future...? Bring it on!


Saturday 9th March9:00am Breakfast
Oatibix with skim
Half a banana

12:00pm Lunch
Tomato soup

Dinner was a bit fragmented as we were going out to a concert and so I didn't really have time to cook etc.

6:00pm Dinner
Slice of Bergen, FL cream cheese and pastrami.
Only managed to eat half - had the other half at the concert!

11:00pm Supper
Danish crispbake and Houmus

Not an ideal day....!
Gig was good though! LOL!


Sunday 10th March  (Mothering Sunday)

10:00am Breakfast
Porage with skim

12:00pm snack - 1 slice Bergen toast & LFS

2:00pm Lunch
2 slices Italian Ham

4:30pm Snack Yoghurt

7:00pm Dinner
Filling of a quarter of a quiche Lorraine

8:00  WW Hot chocolate drink.

Okay - I confess to being less interested in eating than in my visitors today - my four fabulous, wonderful children and my two equally amazing grandbabbies Ada & Toby. Fed the littlies spaghetti and toast (hence I had a slice of toast!) LOL!  Better tomorrow...? Maybe. I'm just glad I kept it down and didn't suffer - bonus!
Thursday 14th March

......ooooohhhh!!!!!   I didn't realize I'd missed three days...!  I could have sworn I'd done Monday and Tuesday at least...?   Oh well, can't be helped.

All I can say is I am fed up of mush now but more than that, I am fed up of mush getting stuck....

It's slowly improving but in the meantime I'm a bit concerned I'm not getting enough protein or calories because I really don't feel like eating most of the time.   

With this in mind, I've bought in some Atkins Protein bars (to carry in my bag if I go out) and a tub of Protein powder to add to my morning porage/Oatibix. 
For instance, today I had my Oatibix this morning but I was a bit late for one reason or the other and then by the time I'd showered, taken my Fastab and then had my Oatibix we needed  to go straight out.  

We had a busy day, one way or another and it was 4:00pm before we got round to entering the only restaurant for miles and they'd finished serving and only had cheese sandwiches!  There's no way I could even attempt cheese sandwiches.  Even the soup de jour was off.

So we went home and on the way I had a protein bar which, at least, kept my digestion going and offered high protein. Tasted like sawdust, like.....

In general, I'm doing really well. I'm losing weight okay (could be a bit faster but as I said, I don't think I've been eating enough and that will slow down weight loss as surely as overeating.

I don't know how peeps manage to do this and work full time though - it's like having a part-time job on its own.

On a brighter note, I've shrunk!

At the beginning, I got Nic to measure me and my measurements were as follows:-

Neck:-                            19.5"
Bust:-                             56"
Waist:-                           56"
Hips:-                             58.5"
Upper Arm:-                     18"
Thigh:-                            27.5"

Yesterday he measured me again and got these figures:-

Neck:-                             17"
Bust:-                             53"
Waist: (amazing!)             49"
Hips:-                             54"
UA:-                                15"
Thigh:-                            25"

So no, Lily Cole has nothing to worry about just yet but my shape is changing into that of a recognizable woman! LOL!  

My weight is just over 3 stones loss (45lbs to be exact) at 18st 3lbs this morning but the big change is my shape - my original clothes are now far too big and I'm glad I didn't put off getting my suitcases of 'small' clothes from the loft for much longer as the next size down (24) is loose on me already and some things I've passed straight to the 'too big' pile as they are so baggy.

I have been re-acquainted with my feet from a standing position - I've not seen them from that perspective for a long time!

I have my check-up appointment one week today so we shall see then what the verdict is on my journey so far.


Friday 15th March

Oh my goodness! With proper eating comes HUNGER! LOL!
I've not felt hunger since before my op but by golly it's kicked in now!
And so extreme!

I seem to bounce from 'absolutely-full-and-cannot-think-straight-until-that-last-morsel-is-actually-in-the-bottom-of-my-banana',  then I get about two hours relative peace and then it hits me like a brick! I'm STARVING!

Is this what normal peeps feel? I can only ever remember a dull continuous, back of the mind slow-burn 'peckish' feeling. Don't think I've ever experienced these extreme feelings of full and empty in my life! To be absolutely honest, I'm not sure I like it!  

I could ignore 'peckish' but this demolition ball will not be ignored! And the 'can't-move-I'm-too-full' after one or two tablespoons of mush is a feeling I was never fond of and tried to avoid but without wandering into the realms of malnutrition I cannot avoid it now.

Wow! I have to say, this journey is full of surprises and also full of new experiences!

This morning I laced my Oatibix and milk with a calcium and high protein powder. It was gloopy but okay but I couldn't finish all of it - too viscous for my small banana!

I had a small Atkins protein bar for my snack and later, I had corned beef and baked beans for my lunch. Afternoon snack was half an Atkins protein milk drink and my tea was delicious Lamb's Liver and onions, peas and carrot/turnip mash. How lovely that was...! I really took my time with it because I was aware the liver needed a good masticating!

I don't feel the need to list what I eat any more - I think I have a handle on it for the minute but soon I will be changing up to small pieces of 'real' food and I am anticipating a little difficulty with that as I have enough trouble with my mush going down!


Thursday 21st March

Well, today was my 'six week' check up and what a complete waste of time that was!

It's a nightmare getting to Aintree Hospital from where I live at rush hour, even when  you leave early - I'd have been better sleeping on my daughter's couch overnight and going from there!  I live about as far south in Liverpool as it is possible to be without falling in the Mersey and the hospital is about as far north as you can be without a passport! Distance isn't the problem though - it's the traffic! 

 On a Sunday I can probably do the entire journey in about half an hour but on a weekday morning....aaarrrgh! Not content with the nightmare journey, there were no less than three sets of temporary lights in between.

Aintree Hospital gives me palpitations anyway as it's an enormous barracks of a place and has the layout of a rabbit warren with several upper storeys and I've not been there often enough to be able to find my way around easily. 
Some lifts feed to one part of the building but then you can't get to the other side etc etc... and the multi-storey is always full to capacity, except for disabled places of which it is bountifully supplied. 

So, not enthused with the thought of going there anyway but when I finally got there (with minutes to spare and no slap on) all that happened was I got weighed and asked if all was well.  It, of course, is.  Nothing happened that couldn't have been done in a two minute phone call. I'm perfectly capable of weighing myself....  No bloods, no autopsy on my diet, or anything.  Meds check was a cursory 'what are you taking?')   

Slight bollocking about 'not enough or right kind of exercise which was strange as I'd not met this man before (still no idea who he was) and he had no idea how much or what exercise I was doing before or now.
I did feel the need to explain that at 60, and just six weeks post op, my weight has only just got to the place where I can walk any distance and so, I am walking my dogs, at a decent pace, around the circumference of my local(gradiented) park.

'Not good enough - you need to be on a cross-trainer...' I then explained that a cross-trainer had done for my knees about six years ago, so that wasn't going to happen any time soon...! I really do not want a closer relationship with Baker's Cysts than I have already had...!

No, for the time being, walking my dogs their full walk around the park is 100% up on what I was doing as I had a stick and could walk only about 50 yards before.  When that is no longer hard for me, I shall add other stuff (dust off my Wii Fit!) and I might find my way to the swimming baths when the weather improves but there is no point in my promising to become the next Paula Radcliffe when it patently ain't gonna happen!

I will get OH to pump up my fitness ball again though (...and where are those wrist weights and dumbells...? )!  Six weeks for God's sake!

My weight has stalled just now, which I now know means my metabolism is adjusting again, as I am now able to eat more substantially.
I need to find out how many calories I'm meant to be taking in now I can eat most 'normal' (if small) foods.  Clearly not the usual 1200  and I imagine about 750...? But I haven't actually been told - same as no-one has yet told me for how long I need to take the Fastabs  (but I overheard someone else asking - three months!).

There was confusion too about whether or not I'd had my gall-bladder removed....    

'Any trouble with your gall-bladder...?'
'No - I don't have one.'

'Oh... When did you have it removed?'

'The same time as the Bariatric surgery....'
'No, I don't think so...'

'Well, granted, I was asleep, so didn't actually see who stole it, but that's what I was told...'  I didn't add, like I'd thought 'of course they could have been kidding with me...'

'Well, there is no mention in your notes about it.'

I shrugged my shoulders....
"What can I say?  I was a bit high on the old anaesthetic at the time, but someone said 'This wound on the left might hurt a bit as that's where we dragged the gall bladder though, complete with stones' ."

Flurry of activity from various secretaries Catherine the dietician ( the one constant who actually put a lot into the whole thing) and finally, Lesley the main secretary who is very highly efficient and helpful. She sorted it out. It was in the electronic notes but not the paper file.

I appreciated his doggedness though - it's important to be sure whether you have a gall-bladder or not!


Sunday 25th March

OMG - it is so COLD!   It's snowing (again..!) and it's bloody freezing with it!
When I was in that hospital, someone stole my personal central heating and I've become unbelievably nesh!

Nic suggested that after going to Boots for my Fastab prescription (just took my last one) we should take the dogs to the park.......!
EEK!   I don't mind walking the dogs now but's like the Arctic out there!   Still, never say I won't do my duty.....

By God it was even colder (is that possible..?) in the park.  

I'm still trying to work out a couple of things.   How is it possibly to have three inches of snow, it be soooo cold and yet under the snow is three inches of, what can only be describes as, quagmire...?  We have small, white (well they were white!) dogs....!  How on earth did they not only tolerate the conditions 'sans coats' but seem to actually thoroughly enjoy them..? Running around, chasing the ball and each other and the poor pigeons (only birds stoopid enough to be out!) all round the park.

This was the big park at Calderstones but I did fink out and would only do the small walk, which actually suited Nic as he's hurt his knee and was knackered himself by the last leg.

But the 'small' walk isn't a very easy one in the snow and quagmire. It might be described as such on a summer's day, with the sun on your back and a breeze lifting your hair but not today!

I'm eating mostly okay now, although I still get some discomfort when food is going down and I also get some nausea occasionally. Haven't upchucked for a week or two though and that's got to be good...

I've come to the conclusion that as far as digestion is concerned, corned beef and baked beans are my friends, and certain veggies are not, yet. Tripe and liver are good. Ham, unless wafer thin, is not.  Low fat cream cheese and cottage is good - cheddar isn't but Brie is. 

Fish of any description is wonderful but pulses can be troublesome. I can manage oranges but not apples and bananas are fab.

I imagine over time, new things will be tolerated and I am actually going out for my first meal with my pals tomorrow evening so I shall be interested as to what's on offer!

Will update!

Oh, btw, 18st 2lb! It's finally moved!  Hopefully under the 18st next week!

Oh, btw; The sagas of the painful prescriptions continues. Got to Boots - no Lansoprazole, of course.  They didn't put it on repeat after all.  Got to call doctors tomorrow. Grrrr.....  Asked could I buy some over the counter - not allowed.....

Tuesday 26th March

Didn't get to the doctors yesterday because Nic's Mum had a fall and ended up in hospital, necessitating him dashing across to Yorkshire to see if he could help with his Dad, who needs a little support.

This meant I had Toby to myself all day, which was lovely, 'cos he's my boy!  But it also meant I didn't get out because the weather is still too rotten to go out in, let alone take a baby out in and Toby would insist on walking and all the other two year old things I don't have the energy for at the mo.

 I didn't get a Fastab (my stomach support) so I ate bland stuff all day so I didn't cause any bother on the acid department.

Nic's Mum has broken her arm, apparently. She was hanging out the the snow... and slipped when a gust of wind knocked her over.
(hanging out the washing in the snow...? Must be a Yorkshire thing.)

I've just rung the doctors for the prescription and they won't take it over the phone.  Can't do that any more, apparently. The receptionist says the PCT have reprimanded them for doing so.  

So, once again, despite having done this twice before, I have to go and have yet another 'discussion' with the surgery to get a simple prescription.  

Get a job...? I've got a part-time one already, trying to get basic care from my GP surgery! Grrr.....

Another day without Lansoprazole....  I do hope this doesn't cause a problem.

It gets better.....!  No-one on duty at the surgery (fair enough, it was kind of lunchtime...) so popped the letter in the box.  Notice on the desk telling anyone who cared to read it that it's 48 hrs for prescriptions so I won't get my Fastabs until Thursday afternoon.....   That will be four days without.

Drove to the pharmacy (Boots) to throw myself on their mercy (my old chemist would, on occasion, allow me to 'borrow' a couple of tablets from the script they knew I would be getting in the next day or two) but no, they aren't allowed to do this any more....

I asked was there anything I could buy that would do a similar job for a couple of days and the pharmacist sold me some Zantac which, I suppose, is better than nothing. Only htink is they're not dispersible. Hope that isn't a problem. Tried crunching them but - boy - they are disgusting! Won't do that again!

Wednesday 27th March

I was up at 4:30 with the most horrendous burning and pain in my gullet/stomach. Clearly Zantac is not up to the job at all.

I've had heartburn before - as have most ladies who've had a pregnancy or two - but this was its bigger, badder brother!  Good grief! I was envisualizing those little American firefighters from the Gaviscon advert! Couldn't wait for a reasonable hour to arrive whilst I contacted the surgery again.

Spoke to the Practice Manager (she's a lovely woman with a difficult job) and she confirmed they'd got my letter and my script was ready if I wanted to pick it up. She also apologized and confirmed that she, personally, had put the Lansoprazole onto repeat last time herself so she 'didn't know why' it hadn't been done.  I advised her that although one or two of the receptionists were okay, the majority of them needed retraining as their soft-skills were abysmal. They were often rude and dismissive and also argumentative, not even gracious enough to apologize for mistakes.  She just said 'You can always phone me, you know...' and then added, because she knows me by now' ...I know, you shouldn't have to...'

I joked with her saying that if I had any more bother picking up scripts I'd bring my machine gun with me and she laughed!

I got to the practice reception in record time - could not wait for the Fastabs .

My little granddaughter Ada had been dropped off with us early as she was off school poorly. I'd had to get Nic out of bed (he's on permanent nights) to look after her whilst I, once again, went to the dratted surgery.

I was stood there and there were two of the receptionists there, shuffling papers and laughing and joking together and with a man. Don't know if he was a patient or a driver but I could tell you loads about him including his name and other specifics of his life as they chatted and joked with him for at least five minutes without even looking at me.   Now I know I've lost weight, but I AM still visible.

It was on the tip of my tongue to butt in and say 'When you have a minute ladies, I'm kind of in a bit of pain here...' but hesitated for two reasons. One, I was curious to know just how long they would keep it up and two, I thought I was actually going to upchuck on the reception floor.  You know when you get that watery salivatory thing going on just before you vomit...? I was having to swallow copious amounts if saliva as I didn't have a hanky or tissue with me.

Finally the Three Stooges finished their comedy sketch as the man (Tom) left. And the women carried on talking to each other....!

Eventually, curiosity, or my silence, or the green colour I must have been displaying caught their interest and one actually looked at me.

I asked for my prescription.   Could they find it?  Of course they couldn't.
I didn't bother explaining - I just told her to ask the Practice Manager.
Then the conversation between the two was 'oh where is she? Is she up/down/ infinitum.  This went on for a couple of minutes until I caught her attention and pointed to the glass door behind her. 'She's behind you.'

Practice manager came into the room and I said to her 'I forgot my machine gun...'  
 'Oh...... they can't find it then...'  She did tell them that I had not had my meds for a few days and they needed to sort it quickly.

A flurry of Manager-led activity and a new script was printed and I was on my way in record time.

Got the script cashed and had the tab in my gob before I left Boots..! I must have looked like a crack-head getting her first fix in a while! LOL!

Oh the relief!

Spent the day looking after my Ada (crafting mostly as she is a craft-o-holic too!) and was flagging by the time she went home - 4 hours sleep clearly isn't enough!

In the afternoon, I received a phone-call from the young pharmacist at Boots. She's just received a second lot of my prescription order from my doctor's surgery, what should she do with it....?

You know that feeling when you are in between bursting out laughing, wanting to scream and wanting to do physical damage to someone whilst also needing to keep your cool as the person you're speaking to is a normal human being who is trying to help you....?


Thursday 28th March

Other fish to fry today but 18.00st dead.  I had had my brekkie and drunk water before I weighed myself as Nic was on nights (the scale is in our bedroom) or I might have gone below!  

Mwahh-ha-ha-hah! I'm gonna get you 17 stone....!


Saturday 30th March

....YAYY..yyy...!   17st 13lbs....! Told ya I was coming for ya, 17 st!

Nic has just gone off to Hull to see to his Dad to give his long-suffering sister a break. 

Poor Barbara looks after everyone.  It's a shame we don't live closer.


Easter Sunday 31st March

Woke up with acid again.  I do hope that break from taking my Lansaprozole hasn't caused an erosion or anything - I'll be most disgruntled if it has. 

Took my Fastab but it didn't work right away so I took another half about an hour or so later. Eventually it did settle but I'm going to keep an eye to it.

I had my usual Oatibix for my brekkie but couldn't finish it. 
I was still a bit off when my belly called for fuel a couple of hours later so I had half a tin of Ravioli, thinking it would be easy to digest but not sure if the tomato wasn't a bit too acid for my delicate acidy stomach.

I just had a natural yoghurt later on and that seemed to settle it a bit. Even water was irritating it at one point.

However, it's Easter Sunday and I'm all on my own so I sulked and had a little bit of the Easter egg Nic bought me. It was delicious.......and it settled my stomach almost immediately.  How very strange...?  I think my tummy is just in rebellion at being deprived of its usual chocolate ration! Only explanation!

I made tripe and onions for my tea - delicious!

I'm spending the evening drinking water as I know I haven't had enough today - too busy painting!


Monday 8th April

Eventful week family-wise! Had Ada overnight again and then again on Sunday whilst her Mum & Dad worked on the house. She crafted her little fingers to stumps! LOL!

She is wonderful company and is so good but what a messy little cat she is! Everything she does is untidy - a lot of her Granddad there - except her Granddad does actually eventually tidy up after himself but they're both messy workers - no method obvious!

The eating thing is alright - into a bit of a routine now - I seem to know instinctively now how much I can eat or not.   Still having the odd vomitus episode due to introducing different foods into my diet - discovered tonight that I'm not quite ready yet for curry......!  Eukkk....!

Ten weeks post op tomorrow so I'm usually okay with most 'normal' foods but I can't eat as much as the post-op diet says and I've still not tried chops or steak - I'm still at the 3/4 tablespoons level with most foods.   I made an oxtail stew for Nic yesterday and I was fine with that but still only had that amount. I did manage a small pot of pineapples after though.  

I've some nice cabbage for tomorrow - not had that yet so that should be interesting!

One thing I have had for about a month though, is a very sore bottom.   I had a pyjama day (rare for me) and it was a mistake because my pj's, unlike knickers, have a seam and this seam rubbed my anus sore, leaving blisters, or so I thought. 

I'm stringent in my personal hygiene (like most fat peeps - we're often paranoid about becoming 'smelly') and I always wash both botty and hands after toileting and I use a medicated powder (NOT talc) every time too as I do have sensitive skin on my nether regions - very fussy about loo roll etc...!

Well, I was becoming, very fed up with this discomfort so I made my poor Nic (bless his heart!) have a look. 

His findings were less than sensible so he took photos for me  (don't worry, I won't assault your senses with them! LOL!) and as soon as I saw these I knew the dreaded folliculitis was back ! This time taking up residence around my poor anus.  This can be dietery deficiency speaking so I'm packing in the Vit C with tinned fruit (real oranges just a bit too acidic yet).

So, disinclined to take more of the antibiotics that arguably contributed to my gallbladder problems, I have reverted to my old faithful tea tree oil and it's improved mightily in two days.  Dunno if it will go away altogether but I certainly hope it will!

I'll be back to report if and when more interesting things happen!

17st 12lbs at the mo.....!


Friday 12th April did and and I hope it's now gone for good. At least I know what to do immediately next time - I dunno why it took me so long to do the tea-tree thing - I use that all the time for antisepsis.

Still having some discomfort after eating, even when I behave myself and chew well.  Also get a bit grumpy if I'm not allowed about ten minutes peace after my meal, as if I need to concentrate on digesting.

I'm afraid my poor Nic reaped the whirlwind today for this. His own fault entirely as I had just explained my observation to him and had also told him how I felt a bit poorly with a sore throat and headache.

He then, immediately I'd finished speaking, told me how I looked a bit scruffy and pale, perhaps I needed to put some slap on...?

I will probably have no voice tomorrow.

Made a big grill pan of sausages and fed them to Nic with butter beans and mash.  I had one sausage and a little of the beans and mash but wasn't really hungry because of my throat. But the sausage went down beautifully - no discomfort at all. That means it was high in either fat, salt, sugar or carbs or, most probably, all four plus some poisons....Why do the bad things go down easily and the 'good' things kill you?

Still got loads to do. Darling DIL Dani's birthday tomorrow so must make a card for that and I've just been reminded by Bev that I promised to make a 'Princess' version of 'Pin the tail on the Donkey'!!!   Ooer...!

Better get cracking!


Saturday 13th April

It's official. I now have tonsillitis. And no voice. Lovely!  

I should have been at my granddaughter Ada's fifth birthday party today but concluded that I would be taking a big chance on being lynched, taking my lurgi into a church hall full of about 35 little ones two days before they're due back at school after Easter...!  I don't think their mothers would appreciate the Easter break being extended for another fortnight while their child whinged for England....
On the plus side, I'm now 17st 10lbs. I just hope all the honey I'm swallowing doesn't do too much damage to my regime.

I finished the card and the 'Pin the...' game.  Can't upload the pic because my card-reader is goosed.  But, apparently, it was much admired!

Today I've eaten crap. Because my throat is very sore and because I feel fed up and really cannot be doing with another discomfort or round of the foamies.

I had my Oatibix with skim for brekkie a sausage for my lunch, two more for my dinner and a slice of home-made fruit pie, most of the pastry of which I fed to the dogs - I'm not good with pastry at the best of times - it often gives me heartburn.  A fun size bag of Maltesers and that was it apart from three Lemsips with a dollop of honey in them.  Not a good diet - I realize, but what can I do when I can't bring myself to either cook or eat?  
I will try harder tomorrow.


Sunday 14th April

Better day.  I ate sensibly although still not enough and I know I didn't drink enough water either. Will try better. At least things aren't sicking so much now.


Tuesday 16th April

...oooh! 17st 9lbs!

My Ada's fifth birthday, so really busy all morning with jobs and finishing off her 'card'.
We went to see her at her house and there was a little tea party. I had a tiny sliver of pizza, a couple of little cocktail sausages and a little cooked meat and very nice it was too - such a change from my usual fare. Not really my type of food but as a little change it was pleasant.

Ada loved her stuff, especially her 'treasure' - a gold organza bag with 20 £1.00 coins in it!  Hehehe...!

At ten weeks, here is the diet sheet from my dietician, Catherine.

Wednesday 17th April
I had a small can of fish (mackerel in spicy tomato) for my brekkie and it was lovely and went down absolutely fine!

My lunch was a couple of cheese triangles and celery and for my dinner I managed to eat an entire Tesco Shepherd's pie for one! It was lovely! I think I'll keep to three-quarters next time though - I don't want my stomach to stretch.

Later on, I actually managed an entire cup of tea! Bliss!
I also had a banana and a yoghurt for my snacks.

It's definitely getting easier but I don't want to fall into the trap of overeating because it is easier...  Must keep an eye out for that.


Tuesday 30th April

Received a letter from the hospital today. At first I thought it was for my 12 week check up but it was the same letter I received asking me to come to assessment in November. 

'At this appointment you will see a detailed presentation, which explains the differences between the various types of surgery with their relevant risks'....etc etc.  'Following there will be an opportunity to have a break before going for your pre-operative tests......'

Different consultant and next week's date 07/05/13.

So, I rang the hospital and got a sniffy adolescent with an attitude.

I explained politely, that I'd received this letter, but it was worded exactly like my assessment letter so could he tell me if it was a mistake as I am actually 12 weeks post op.

He couldn't, so off he went to speak to someone with a brain.

After checking my hospital number etc he told me it was for my 12 week check up, which is fine.  I then suggested, also very politely that perhaps the letters should be worded slightly differently to make it clear what the letter was about.  His response?  

In his best arsy tone.....  'Well I don't write the letters...'


My reply?   In my best mother's voice  'Of course dear! I realize that as a call-centre minion you aren't capable of composing something like a letter but I thought you might flag up the problem to the relevant department, to save others receiving and perhaps just not responding to a letter that appears to have no relevance to what they're expecting and therefore wasting valuable appointment times, but don't bother - I'll mention it to the consultant when I see him...'

Sheesh....!  I thought times were hard for peeps trying to FIND jobs not for the employers who seem to be employing just anyone.


I seem to be going through a rough patch. EVERYTHING hurts going down, on the right hand side - even my Tesco's Shepherd's pie. Made the mistake of Multi-grain flakes this morning - you'd have thought I was swallowing screwed up tinfoil.

Last week I made the mistake of trying an onion Bhaji of a type we've had before and very mild - it killed me all night so I know I can't do spice yet even of the most inoffensive but I ask you - Multi-grain flakes with skimmed milk and half a banana....   I only had the banana afterwards to soothe my poor whatever it was that was complaining.

Even milk isn't going down as it should - and did! It's tending to 'bubble up' so I'm glad of the appointment next week.

I'm sure it's a temporary thing - well I certainly hope it is as I've been doing so well otherwise.

Had a bereavement this week-end so the kerfuffle over that isn't helping, I suppose.

Shall update presently.


I have my 12-week check-up on Tuesday 7th May, so as I have to keep a food diary again for three days, I might as well put it on here too.

I'm eating fine at the minute, as can be seen here.  I DO get very hungry and then very full very quickly. I have NEVER in my life been such a slave to my stomach!  It's like a crying baby - you cannot ignore it! It shouts then I have to stoke it or suffer the consequences.

That is the only unpleasant side-effect of this whole thing - I am now in thrall to this small stomach and it's very irritating. I would love someone to come up with a capsule or pill you can swallow as a meal replacement so I could just take in a meal when I want to and not have to eat when I don't.  Still, that's probably not a healthy way to think.....

I did have one not so bright spot this week.

We've all heard some ignorant thin people calling bariatric surgery the 'easy option' or 'cheating' but I clearly bestow an intelligence on some people that they don't deserve.

I was chatting with my eldest son Matt earlier this week and I commented on how good he was looking .   He and his girlfriend Jen have been trying to be healthier in their habits - eating more healthily, more exercise and, clearly, it's had a very good effect on my 6'4" son who had, at one point, about six years ago, started to look like one of the Sopranos! And at his height and build, he can carry a few stones can Matt. 

  So I told him how good he was looking and guessed his weight, correctly, at around 16st.  I joshed him by saying - did my losing my weight inspire him to keep at it, meaning that big as he is, I've always been heavier and I was jokingly meaning it wouldn't do to let me become lighter than him.

He answered in all seriousness 'No.  Because you cheated.'

I was stunned. I was so shocked and hurt, I didn't have a reply.   My Matt has a degree and a Masters and I've always thought him very intelligent.

He is also an insensitive pratt.

Had I not been a protective and pro-active mother, he might well have had an even worse weight problem than I have.  I learned from my family's mistakes and fed him and his siblings healthily from birth. I could have continued what was done to me by my ignorant relatives but I didn't.  And he knows that. He knows all about my backgrounds and how I ended up the way I am.

Had the moment not passed and if the thing was worth the resurrecting, I should like to ask him if he thought his MSc was a 'cheats' way of gaining a better job? 

I have spent three years of courses, gyms, jumping though hoops and a life-risking operation just to get to where I am. Is that REALLY worth less than his Masters? Cause it was a lot harder and took a lot longer!

Lets hope his ambitions don't take him into the Diplomatic Service....

Speak to you soon!


Wednesday 8th May

Went to my 12 week check up yesterday.
It WAS the wrong letter and the consultant was puzzled as to why I had been called to that clinic as it was for pre-op peeps not post-ops but as it was the man himself, Professor John Wilding, he did the necessary anyway and was full of praise for my progress, attitude and plans for future improvements to my lifestyle.  Praise indeed!  

It was Prof Wilding who collaborated with Dr Nicky Maizey to set up this Aintree Loss Service in the first place!

 So, who should I listen to? The twonk doctor at the 6 week check who didn't actually check anything, couldn't find my notes, didn't know I'd had my gall-bladder removed and told me walking my dogs was not enough (without actually ascertaining exactly how far I walk them and over what terrain) or the Top Man who says dog-walking is one of the finest exercises one can do.....?
Hmmm... I'll have to think on that.....NOT!

Saturday 8th June 

Well, I went to my dietician appointment and had no problems at all. Managed to park in the little private car park opposite and there was little difficulty finding the clinic although the receptionist seemed to think clinic 'C' wasn't on that day despite my letter.

I was meeting up with one of my buddies from the group, Danny. I'd not seen Dan since before out respective ops - his was back in September so he was well ahead of me. I suggested we wore red carnations so we'd recognize each other!

On the way to the clinic, I seemed to be tailing a stylish young man in skinny drainpipes, a fashionable jacket and a baseball cap and wondered why he seemed to be heading for the weight clinic but as he was so slim, figured he also might have an eating disorder ( the clinic deals with all eating disorders - anorexia, bullemia, and BMI) and it wasn't until I got to the waiting room and scanned for Dan, I realized it WAS Dan!  

I was gobsmacked! I honestly did not recognize my pal at all - he looked amazing! I never suspected for a moment that under that troubled, unhappy, sartorially-challenged exterior, was a BABE!

I am so happy for Danny - he's a lovely man and deserves to be happy.


At the clinic at Aintree Hospital last week,  I saw a young dietician called Patrick, who was lovely. He was very pleased with my progress and asked could they keep my food diary (I'd filled in 5 days worth) .

I found out that my vit 'D' is still too low - Patrick said he didn't understand why I'd not been put on a vit 'D' supplement as soon as they realized it was low.   To be honest, I told him what a waste of a visit the 6 week one had been as that doctor had done and said nothing useful.  Patrick is putting it out there for me so I should get it one day....

Apparently, (I'm STILL learning!) the vitamin 'D' we get from our food is actually vitamin D2 & D3. Vitamin 'D' itself is got only from the sunlight.....and I live in Liverpool - a place better known for the rain than the sun!

Only between April and September and the hours of 10:00am - 2:00pm do you get the 'right' kind of sunlight and it doesn't get through sunblock either.

Suffice it to say, I now have a tan and barely missed sunburn! LOL!

Still on track though and getting better every day. I can't wait for the day when I can have a proper cup of tea straight after my dinner without having to time it though. I really miss that. And my breakfast cup too.  But I still wouldn't change anything. I'm now sliding OUT of a size 22 wheras I was sliding INTO a 28.  I have 20s left in my suitcase but not been an 18 for about 30 years, so I shall have to go and actually BUY when I get to that stage!

I find it incredible that, if this continues the way it has been going, I could be back to my pre-wedding weight of 12 stones and a size 16......   I can't believe that will ever actually happen, to be honest, but I didn't believe I'd ever be back in a 20 either and that will happen in the next few weeks....

Watch this space!


13th July 2103

Ta daaaah!  Five stones gone. As of last week. Now 16st 6lbs....!
No traumas or dramas to report, only the continuing uselessness of my GP surgery......

Not having heard a peep from them regarding the vit 'd' supplement, I rang Patrick  last week to ask about it. Apparently he'd written to them (via a colleague as he was off on holiday a day or two after my appointment with him) shortly after my appointment and they should have let me know by now, so he e-mailed them, ringing me back later in the day to say it would be available for pick up the following day.

Do I need to tell you that it, of course, wasn't...? Once again the Practice Manager Tracey had to be found to sort it out and she apologized saying she'd had a busy time and had been to the dentist and there'd been a plague and the sky had fallen in.....yada yada...!

I'm sorry folks but they'd had letters from Professor Wilding, two from Padraig and his colleague and a further e-mail from Padraig. How much instruction is required for a vitamin supplement?

I'd hate to be seriously ill under their care, I really would be worried.

The good news is, that I actually BOUGHT three tops (three for £15 - vests..!) and they're a 20!  Happy days indeed!

I've bought no clothes other than a couple of tops with a gift-card from my son & daughter-in-law for Mother's Day.  I saved all of my smaller clothes from 10 years ago in suitcases in the loft but I am now on the dregs from those suitcases as I've now shrunk out of most of them. I don't know whether to get my machine out and take in a few things or just sell them on e-bay and buy new...?  Super problem to have though!

Still not happy eating red meat - it does, even well-chewed and slowly eaten make me uncomfortable. I'd sooner stick to mince - I can eat it, enjoy it and not suffer!  I can eat most other things now but I find I've become a picky eater! Never been known for me to say 'I don't really fancy that' to ANYTHING!  
I still cannot look an apple in the face but I have been eating sliced tomatoes recently without issue. Fine with celery and watercress too.  Avocados are no bother and I have made a few smoothies with them and bananas.  Decided I'm not keen on bananas in smoothies - they seem to go bitter for me.

I'm still having Oatibix/porage for brekkie - not bored with it yet - lol! I add fruit with it - berries or a banana to ring the changes.

Still have difficulty eating regularly although I never forget as my belly tells me in NO uncertain terms!

On which note, I'll sign off for my dinner....! LOL!


21st August 2013

Not been on for ages because there's been little to report.  
I'm sticking with the three tablespoons rule and can now eat most things although I'm no longer keen on red meat..... very strange - I used to LOVE a steak or a chop. Not bothered now...

Having said that I don't get much of a kick from food anyway. It's fuel - no more.  I eat out occasionally but it's a waste as even the tapas come in huge quantities. Is this why we, as a nation, have become obese?  These huge portions everywhere have become the 'norm'?

What I really enjoy is ...wait for it... cottage cheese and some fresh berries!  Two tbsps of cott cheese and one of berries.  Been having that a lot lately.

I still like my cottage pie and lasagne but need to keep the protein up so I always eat the mince first.  I stick protein powder in anything that will take it too. 

I'm now 16 st 3lbs just a couple more lbs and I will have passed the 15 stone holy grail threshold!  

I have an important wedding to attend in October so  must get good for that! Need clothes but won't buy any yet!

14 stones is my target at the mo. I don't think I want to go lower than that as corrective surgery is highly unlikely to be funded and I certainly don't have any cash so I don't want too much loose skin around.

The lottery might come up with something, though I doubt it as I've just cancelled my direct debit with them - I think they have a colossal cheek hiking it up double! I hope everyone else does the same - serve the robbers right.

I won't bore you with yet another prescription drama - went to Boots to pick up my vit D supplement and, of course, it wasn't in. But they did have a script FOR THE WRONG THING! For another supplement - something I've never actually had...   (sigh...).  Back to GP practice - sort out yet again. I think Tracey shudders when she sees me now.

NUff for now! Night night!


10th September 2013

Had an appointment for the weight-management clinic today.
I've not actually managed to 'do' one of these yet - there has always been a mix-up of cock-up of some kind.

I just LOVE getting up at 6:00am in order to be on time to attend an early hospital appointment at the arse-end of the city, requiring a 17 mile journey, across the traffic system at rush hour and a further 20 minute crawl round the three car-parks on the enormous hospital campus to eventually find one at five minutes to the appointment time, THEN, having dashed my way though the labyrinthine passages of the said, barracks of a hospital to be told at the clinic reception that the clinic has been cancelled as the clinician is on holiday....... 

I didn't shout. I wasn't rude. I was very VERY quiet.....and 'requested' that I see SOMEONE today, please... and no, I didn't get that letter informing me of the cancellation or I wouldn't be here, would I...?

Got to see a very nice, albeit unnamed doctor, some 45 minutes after the appointed time and the consult was a good one but, for me, a complete waste of time!

I could have telephoned them with my weight and height (no that hasn't altered at all...! LOL) and told them over the phone that I was fine.

The bloods, fair enough, MAY have been necessary, although as my last ones (three weeks ago) were fine......?

All in all, there was nothing done that the nurse at my GP's surgery couldn't have done and 30-odd miles closer!

I suppose it's all down to funding. The clinic is given the funding to follow my progress and my GP isn't. Perhaps if he was I might find it easier to get in to see the little bugger!

The good news...? 15 stones 12 lbs people! Yayy!  Not been in that range since 1987 and again back in 1980!

I'm now aiming for 14 stones dead and hope that my skin doesn't become too loose for comfort as I've been told there's no funding for re-constructive surgery.

One day at a time, sweet people...!  ;)


Wednesday 18th September 2013

At the beginning, I got Nic to measure me and my measurements were as follows:-

Neck:-                            19.5"
Bust:-                             56"
Waist:-                           56"
Hips:-                             58.5"
Upper Arm:-                     18"
Thigh:-                            27.5"

Then, later,  he measured me again and got these figures:-

Neck:-                             17"
Bust:-                             53"
Waist: (amazing!)             49"
Hips:-                             54"
UA:-                                15"
Thigh:-                            25"

Tonight these are the numbers:-

Neck :-                            15"
Bust:-                              48"
Waist:-                            43"
Hips:-                              49"
U Arm:-                            14"
Thigh:-                             22"

That is 43.5" lost altogether!
I weigh in at 15st 12lbs (222lbs)  so from 21st 6lbs (300lbs) so 5st 6lbs(78lbs) lost altogether!

I'm very happy with my progress up to now. I've achieved my main objectives which were to become mobile and pain-free and to LIVE to see my grandchildren grow up a little. The bonus is I can buy nice clothes from normal shops and run around with my grandchildren instead of being constantly exhausted.  

I don't know WHY my Fibromyalgia has disappeared but I'm eternally thankful it has...! I have my life back and it's not stopping here either!  

I know I need to step up my exercise and I shall now the babies (..and Nic!) are back at school.

I have a job interview next Sunday and whether or not I actually get the job is almost immaterial - I passed the nightmare application!

At almost 61, that's an achievement in itself!

I shall do the next photos soon as I can organize a space in which to take them!

Best thing I ever did!


Tuesday 8th October 2013

Well, it had to happen sometime I suppose!  Put on 2lbs over my birthday week!  Well, I say MY birthday but  there were extenuating circumstances....!

My daughter, my bezzie's daughter and my lovely sister-in-law all share a birthday - 28th September, so I made cards for the 'girls' but bought one for my Bev - she's not a huge fan of handmade, herself, so I found a really pretty one to suit her taste. 

 Bev & I had a joint celebration at her house on her birthday (the Saturday) - a lovely afternoon with extended family and nice food ( and a little chocolate I'm afraid! ). For my beautiful, supportive and practical daughter I made her something (despite her dislike of handmade!) she couldn't buy and which she'd have trouble and expense having made. I made her two silver charms of her babies' thumb-prints.  I also scrawled their names on the other side in a child-like hand.

I don't have a pic of the thumbprint side because they weren't showing up in the pictures.

 I, of course had the grandbabbies whilst Bev enjoyed a meal and a night out with her OH another night and then two days later it was MY birthday and Nic & I 'did' Liverpool!

I know that might sound daft, seeing as we LIVE in Liverpool, but I've not been to the city centre for about five years - and that was only to have my eyes lasered!  I've been too poorly to walk any distance for about that long and the chronic fatigue wouldn't have allowed for it either - THAT didn't allow for ANYTHING very much!  

But on Tuesday, we walked the guided Waterfront Tour which lasted, at a fast pace mind you, for over two hours!  

Six months ago the prospect of walking to the shops over the road from me would have filled me with dread and now I am walking for two hours non-stop at a bit of a clip!

We finished with a meal at one of the trendy eateries in Chevasse park, Cafe Rouge (what lovely, obliging staff they have...) where they are happy to serve a child's portion of food to a big kid like me! 

On the way back though Liverpool One, I popped into Simply Be Ladies wear and found a lovely little leather-look biker's jacket to go with my new black jeggings - size EIGHTEEN! So chuffed about THAT!  Super thing to wear on Wednesday night....more about that in a minute!

The it was home to a succession of visitors with more cake and chocolate (...just a little...!).

Wednesday 2nd October brought my eldest son's pressie - he took me to a rock gig in Leeds! The Eureka Machines, who were absolutely superb - I have their three albums and really like their music so I was chuffed when they were every bit as good live as on cd. Spacehog were the headline band but my faves were the Eurekas!

Thursday and Friday were a flurry of family stuff and shopping for a wedding on Saturday 5th

Now, my hubby works nights, so getting ready to go anywhere is a logistical night-mare as I cannot access the bedroom between about 9:00 am and 8:00pm so he told me to wake him early so we could get to the wedding at 5:00pm as requested.

I'd made the card, bought the pressie but needed to do a few finishing bits and. of course, get dressed.

Then the daughter rings....!   She's head bridesmaid and now asks for  'a little help'.   Can I please make two little cards for Mum & Dad of the bride. Just small ones for a verse which she will e-mail me.

Now, I can make cards in my sleep, so - yeah, why not! Made them, e-mailed a photo to her - they're fine.  But could I do another little favour....

And so it went on.....   Basically,last-minute Kate wanted a birthday card and a cigarette lighter and a candle for the bride's birthday which was TODAY!

And then as an after thought, two packets of Love-Hearts, two teabags, two marbles, two safety pins, a paperclip, a packet of garden-seeds, jigsaw puzzle pieces and a watch! Oh and, if you happen to have two organza bags for these all to fit in, that would be good too!  LOL!

You know, the sad thing is, I had every one of the things on her list except the Love-Hearts sweets!

Comes in handy having a crafter/hoarder for a mother, doesn't it...? ! LOL!

So after doing this 'Mission Impossible' task all day, Nic gets up at 3:00pm and chaos ensues whilst two of us, hindered by the dogs,  try to get ready for a very posh wedding in less than an hour and a half! Aaarrrgghh...! I didn't even get to blow-dry my hair, so stuffed it up in a clamp thinking I'll tidy it when I get to the wedding, in the ladies.

We finally, after more 'grrrr' moments than are reasonable, Nic finally tires of being told off for being 'wrong' and tells me he's going to wait in the car but he's not taking his keys with him. As he doesn't drive and I always have my house-keys with my car-keys, this is very usual so I finished my very rushed toilette, sorted the dogs (who are NOT happy at being left) and head for the door. My keys aren't in their customary spot so I figure he has them and close the door after me. 

I now need the keys to lock the deadlock and guess what...? He doesn't have the car keys after all.... We're locked out with no house keys and no car-keys and my key-holder neighbour is away for the day/night!

Just wonderful! At least ONE of us has their mobile in her handbag so I ring my son who drives round to let me back in and so, after 20 mins of being blown to bits on the pavement outside our house, we're on our way.

The wedding was wonderful and well worth the effort! The bride and bridesmaids (especially my Bev!) looked absolutely stunning! My grandbabbies looked soooo cute in their wedding outfits and the men inn their suits looked so handsome!

The food was out of this world! Smelled delicious and there were several dishes to choose from. This was the first time I cursed my sleeve! I had a delicious Lasagne but had to leave about three quarters of it on the plate - what a waste! Couldn't 'do' a dessert at all. People were going back for seconds and thirds! 

It just shows how much my 'head' has changed.  I was looking at these huge, piled plates being carried by all these slim people and wondering 'where the HELL are YOU going to put THAT amount...?' The servings were bigger than their heads, never mind their stomachs!

I actually felt not a little revolted!

Talk about a born-again-sleevie!

Later on, the evening jollies began so we took our leave and the grand babbies and went home but not until a few photos were taken.

Then my Bev utters that immortal line
'Mum, you look amazing - your outfit is lovely....but I dunno WHAT's going on with your hair.......'

Exit stage left, before the wedding becomes a bloodbath....!


Tuesday 10th December

I'm please to report that all is well, and apart from my weight-loss staggering to a stop, all is amazingly good!

I'm now 15st 5lbs which means I've passed the 6 stone loss threshold - which I'm pleased about.  I don't really mind that the loss has slowed - I know why it has - I've not been as diligent with my food.

My meals have been just as balanced and I still have the proscribed three tablespoons but I've fallen off the chocolate wagon.  There. I've said it.

I've been eating too much chocolate and/or other norty foods.  I can tell you also, that its' the time of year. Between my birthday and Christmas are a multitude of reasons for eating the wrong thing and now, just a fortnight before Christmas (albeit I told myself I wouldn't do it) I've got into the Christmas chocolate supply.  Not a lot and not on my own but still too much.

It's always been a difficult time of year for me to be good - it's cold and it's miserable out and the hot chocolate (or Mocha) calls to me with the threat of a chocolate chip brioche.....  And my healthy nut snacks have degraded to yoghurt-covered ones.....  (I need a blushing smiley about here...).

But at least I am aware and I'm not in denial.  I'll not promise to be a very very good girl until Christmas 'cos it won't happen. I'll promise to TRY and I promise it WILL happen in the New Year.

One of the reasons is - I have NEW a SIZE 18! I'd like to get at least SOME wear out of these before they go to Oxfam.....

The New Year - I promise.....

In the meantime.... 

In September, I left some measurements. They went something like this....

At the beginning, I got Nic to measure me and my measurements were as follows:-

Neck:-                            19.5"
Bust:-                             56"
Waist:-                           56"
Hips:-                             58.5"
Upper Arm:-                     18"
Thigh:-                            27.5"

Then, later,  he measured me again and got these figures:-

Neck:-                             17"
Bust:-                             53"
Waist: (amazing!)             49"
Hips:-                             54"
UA:-                                15"
Thigh:-                            25"

Tonight these are the numbers:-

Neck :-                            15"
Bust:-                              48"
Waist:-                            43"
Hips:-                              49"
U Arm:-                            14"
Thigh:-                             22"

Well, today I did some more and here they are:-

Neck:-                        15"
Bust :-                        47"
Waist:-                       42"
Hips:-                         48"
U arm:-                       13"
Thigh:-                        21"

Only an inch all round but it's still an inch! At least it's consistent! LOL!

I'm happy with that ......for now!

New Year...? Look out here I come....!

I have my nine-month review this morning at 9:15 am.
I truly hope it's not the waste of time it was the last times but I need to go for bloods at some point for Padraig so I may as well go anyway.....

See you soon!

Oh - before I forget...some newer pics - not pretty but informative!

 Before                                                                                           After

These red linen pants were what I wore last Christmas...and they were too tight! You can't see on these pics, but I actually lost the top hook from the waistband......

You can also clearly see that I have a deal of skin bulking out my belly already - I can pull my tum in but that excess skin doesn't move so I actually look worse in some ways than before.

If you look closely at the right hand pic - you can see right down my legs....!

These were a size 28.

Need to go now - got to leave by 8:30am to get to Aintree!
See yaz!

Monday 30th December 2013

Never made it to the hospital.  The traffic was even more horrendous than usual and when I hit a traffic jam I knew I'd be late, despite leaving in plenty of time. So I rang the hosp from my mobile, to be told the clinic had been cancelled anyway.....!   So pleased I didn't get all the way there..... :(

I wrote a very lengthy and erudite post yesterday, only for blogger to lose not only the piece I'd just wrecked my head to write, but this entire page  :O

I was devastated!  I didn't have it saved anywhere else!  

Needless to say - I do now!

I went onto the forum (eventually, after I'd finished gnashing my teeth, wailing and generally panicking....!) and found a few others had had a similar problem and some nice clever techie had found a way to 'fix' it.  Don't ask me what i did because I've no idea.  A techie I'm not.  But - I can follow 'numpty' instructions and they worked! Happily!

Now to re-write what I wrote, which I won't be able to as my method of writing is to hit the keys and let my fingers do the walking!  The second draft is never as good - or so it seems to me.

What I was saying is, I hadn't realized, in all my 61 years, what it was to actually be 'comfortable in my skin'. I didn't even know there WAS such a thing. Until recently.

It's a thing that slim, normal people must take for granted. That capability of just walking into a room or across a road without wondering who's looking at you, if your bum is showing or if your tum is sticking out more or less than yesterday....and yes, I've heard all the  'I don't care what anyone thinks of me..' diatribe - I wrote half of it!

Large people ARE self-conscious. I'm sorry, but we are. There may be an odd brave soul here and there who genuinely doesn't care but the vast majority of us do....because it's NORMAL to want to fit in with your peers. Or if not 'fit in' (I wouldn't even if I was a size 10 - I'm weird by any standards! LOL!) then stand out in a GOOD way of our own choosing.  I STILL want a Triumph Bonneville......

What I love, is the loose-limbed, comfortable-moving feeling I now have. Didn't know that existed!   
I can even cross my legs whilst sat at a desk! Never been known before, without a great deal of pain in the knees and at least one foot going dead.

These are all things that are an extra bonus, things I didn't know of before.

I now wear (and perhaps I shouldn't but hey - I'm a rebel!) a short biker-style jacket and don't mind my bum showing!  On Christmas Day I wore a pair of red skinny jeans and a short military style jacket I've been dying to get into but is actually, now, too big!  Okay - Kate Moss is in no danger from me but I now FEEL like she must feel all the time.

What I love the most, though, is the look on the face of someone I know but who hasn't seen me in a while!  The usual comment...? 'Wow! The amazing disappearing woman!'   That works for me...! ;)

Now keep in mind my friends, I am, at time of writing, still over 15 stones! Not a weight you would usually associate with confidence or attractiveness ....but what can I say...? It works for me!

Strangers look at me differently too. Any fat lady will know what I mean by this. We inure ourselves to it - become desensitized - but it's there.

The 'look up and down whilst the lip curls' look.  This look is one of disgust.  It's also one of fear - 'my God! Imagine having to look like THAT...!'

Then there is the soft, gentle look usually reserved for disabled kittens.  'awww...never mind - you have pretty hair/eyes/good make-up skills...' or 'you could actually look half-decent if you lost a few stones...'

Then there is the 'stone-wall' look, usually from men.  You are too fat to be worthy of my notice. To me you are as interesting as a wall. Not actually as interesting as some - say dry stone. They can be quite ornamental.....

Now, I get smiles from men of all ages. Not sure I like it actually - I think, in a lot of cases, I prefer the 'stone-wall' effect. 

Then this week I got a new 'look'.
From a lady who was probably about my heaviest weight (you do get so good at guessing weights, doncha?) around 22st.  

Our eyes met and she gave me what I can only describe as 'please don't judge me - you're only a bit overweight - you can't know how miserable I am' look.
To say my heart went out to that lady would be a massive understatement.

I see women (cos I actually go out now...!) with their very overweight, crisp-eating, chocolate-laden children and I want to shake them until their teeth rattle! I see women pushing their 12-18 month-old crisp-bag-clutching babies in their buggies, mum's too busy on her iphone to entertain the child so gives them fast-food to keep them quiet (however temporarily) instead.

The advertising industry seems bent on destroying the nation's health and no politician thinks this is a bad thing - most of the politicians probably own the companies producing the drek being pumped into our babies!

My size 18 Christmas clothes (from Dotty P and TK Maxx) were a joy to put on and fasten (can't quite 'do' the M&S ones my Bev bought me yet...! LOL!) and I shall wear them to death as I shan't be in them long, I think.

I intend to get back to basics on New Years Day and really get a lot fitter than I am.  This is something of a goal for me as I hate formal physical exercise.  

I will be very physical in order to do something useful - i.e I have laid flags in my back garden - now THAT was physical.  I have built walls, plastered walls, decorated my house all my married life and enjoyed the process because, like giving birth (labour!) you have a tangible end result you can look at and say 'I did that!' but jumping on a treadmill for 20 minutes and working up a sweat, leaves me cold (pun intended), as does sitting on an exercise bike that goes nowhere.   I wouldn't mind half so much if these machines were attached to the national grid and actually had the useful function of producing electricity! I could see the point of that.  But the double-doorway of the gym gives me the heebie geebies.   So it will be a challenge.  

Just think....! I am an obsessive by nature.  I research everything to death before I do it and once aboard I can bore for England on any subject.  What if I get hooked on the gym....? Now hold that thought...!

I have a young and beautiful cousin who is equally obsessive by nature and she gets the heebie geebies if she's not in the gym by 7:00am. I wonder if I could get her to infect me?

We shall see, my friends, we shall see....... ;)


Wednesday 15th January 2014

Well, here we are my friends, 2014 and not a foot set in the gym. Not only that but I am now sugar-addicted again.

Why, oh why can I not learn that I cannot eat sugar in any amount...?Well...and retain a sense of proportion anyway.

My check up at hospital was fine - gain of only 700g they reckon but I know it was more because I'd lost more since I last saw them - I know I put on at least 2lbs over Christmas.  But worse - I got my sugar-tooth back and I really don't like it because it makes me feel bad in more ways than one.

It doesn't make sense. Normal people stop doing things that make them feel poorly and I managed it too last year but I'm afraid the Christmas 'one won't hurt you...'  did indeed.

True, I'm not as bad as I was but I've still killed a box of chocolate-covered ginger biscuits, a small pot of crystallized ginger and a bag of Maltesers (share size!) in a matter of days.....
NOT the direction I was hoping for this year and from right this moment it will not be happening again!

From breakfast, sugar is right off the menu.  I'll have enough with my five a day fruit and veg and the lactose in my milk.  I KNOW I'll feel better for it because I've felt so shit for the last few days. Upset tum too.

Detox I think!

One day of water, fruit, clear soup and porage won't kill me but it might get me back on track.

Speak soon!
Ei x


Thursday 6th February

....'tis meeeee....! :D

Okay, so I broke the sugar addiction (yayy me!) and on my opperversary of Tuesday I weighed in at 15stones 4lbs!

Very happy!  That last three pounds could NOT decide whether to go or stay! It was on  - it was off - and back on again!

Not been dieting - just doing what I know I should and not eating sugar-rich crap.

Now that 'plateau' has been broken, I can get on again.

Feeling crap at the minute as have a lovely nasty virus, which has left me feeling like I've been fed through a combine harvester...... sore throat, banging, splitting head, joints on fire, back aching to break.

I made a huge mistake before I went to bed. I took a soluble painkiller. Bad move.  Thought my last minutes had come.  The pain from my pouch was something I've never, ever experienced - and I have four children!  I found it hard to even catch my breath and the sweat was pouring off me like water. Then the 'black & whites' as I call them. Only happened to me once before - the last time I gave blood. I passed out and pee'd myself.  Yup! It happened again. Fortunately, I managed to get downstairs and onto our leather couch with a throw under me beforehand.

What a horrible experience! A glass of milk got down in quick order seemed to ease it slightly (couldn't get to my Lansoprazole as they've schanged the brrand and I can't open the blister pack without scissors! What is THAT all about? - oh don't bother answering - clearly it's cheaper than Fastabs.)

But I have to say, despite this horrible interlude, I do feel a little better today.

Going to try to get my in-house David Bailey to do some pics later or, realistically, probably in a couple of days when I don't feel so bleuchhhh....

Got to say food is not an issue anymore, provided I keep away from the nasty sugars and refined carbs. I do have a slight one with beverages.  I've never taken sugar, so tea and coffee are fine but just after Christmas I discovered the Latte.....  :(     SO have to give them a miss! And drinking chocolate too.  It's not the sweetness I crave (my Lattes are unsweetened), it's the 'soothing effect on my poor destroyed throat and pouch. 

Got some new recipes to try. If they turn out okay - I shall share!

Ei x


Wednesday 12th February 2014

Still got the lurgi - feeling pretty rough still - if it doesn't do one I'll have to go to the docs - may need and antibiotic although I really hope not.

Something that has occurred to me over the last few days, which I HAVE mentioned before but it keeps coming back to haunt me.

I was looking at some 'before' pics and the one thing that I do miss from that time is my hair.

Nic took loads of photos of my hair - mostly when I wasn't looking.  

Now, I've coloured my hair for years so the shade of auburn has varied from time to time but as you can see, it's always been long and although fine, there was a lot of it.

I didn't find out until a couple of days before my op that you could, as a consequence of ANY major op, lose some or all of your hair.

It perturbed me a little bit - coming from out of the blue, the way it did, but it wouldn't have stopped me going ahead. However, I spoke to the team, wanting the full SB on it and was assured that most peeps only lost a couple of handsful and only rarely, was a large loss encountered. I pressed the point and was assured that any small loss, would re-grow within about nine months or so.

As I say, even if they'd told me it would all fall out and I would be like a billiard ball, I STILL would have gone ahead (pardon the pun!) with the op so when, after the op it started to fall out in handsful PER DAY I was not pleased. To say I was upset (still am) would be correct.

Was I bothered because I am vain about my hair ..? Hell yes! It was the only attractive thing I had left! 

But the main bulk of my upset was because I had already had the idea, if hair-fall was an issue, to get sponsored for a head-shave for charity, plus - and it was a big plus - how many little cancer-sufferers could have had a nice, girly wig from my waist-length hair?   One or two I reckon...

As it happens, I've had to chop off the length from my hair - it's now barely shoulder-length and, well, you can see though it.

What a colossal waste.

My reason for raising this subject?

I would hope anyone reading this, who might have a lot of fine hair might consider doing what was denied to me.  

I couldn't have looked worse the night before my op, even with a bald pate, and I could have done something meaningful with that opportunity but, due to health professionals trying to assuage my worries (well meant - thank you - but misguided) it was all wasted.

My hair will never grow to my waist again - I'm too old now and just the catch-up will be time-consuming as my re-growth is only about 2-3 inches long. By the time I gather a ponytail at the nape of my neck, there isn't enough thickness to put in the smallest scrunch. None of my clamps are small enough - I've bought some kiddies' ones for now - and I guess the 'tail' will have to come off at some point.

Information is the key - accurate information. Give it to me and let me decide!


Wednesday 26th February 2014

I'm really enjoying my food these days.
It does not control me any more - I control it...well, mostly - I do slip up sometimes!

But in general, I think I'm doing quite well and I definitely don't deprive myself of nice things to eat.

It's 'Scouse Day' on Friday - the national dish of Liverpool and, tbh, I've not cooked Scouse for a long time so I made a 'tester' pan yesterday and it was DEE-LICOUS!    

Cheap as chips and easy to make - why on earth have I left it so long in favour of 'posher' nosh?  Well, I can answer that!  It's because of the carbs!

Me and carbs don't do well together usually!  But since my op, I can't overdo them and have 'seconds' because my pouch won't let me and, more importantly, I no longer WANT seconds.  I am sated with one portion. Something hitherto unknown!

In the pre-op past, I had a 15 watt bulb glowing constantly. I was never famished but never full either. I could eat or not eat. Result was, I'd go all day, busily doing stuff and not eat and then at teatime it would hit me and I'd eat ....but all the wrong things because by then I wanted food NOW - I could always find more interesting things to do than eat. Food was most definitely not my friend - after all - it made me fat, didn't it? Also, there was always the voice of denial in my head... 'well, you've not had anything to eat today - you can have whatever you like.....'    NOT true! 

The truth of the matter was I was sugar-addicted. I would have laughed at you, or even, perhaps got cross with you, had you said that to me at the time.  I never have taken sugar, either on cereal or in drinks. I've never been keen on very sugary things like meringue or 'sweeties' other than chocolate.

I have only, over the last few years, become aware how full of sugar every food you buy that has been processed in any way, is.  It's amazing! Even bread from the supermarket.  Did you know that ordinary white bread is not 'proved' - the pump gas into it to make it rise!  And that loaf you just bought that has a sell by date on, may well have been made 6 months before and frozen then baked this week.

Now, I value food. I don't eat just any old rubbish because I know I have a limit to what I CAN eat so it HAS to be high-value food most of the time, it HAS to have protein first and foremost and it has to have a certain amount of fibre and it has to have the right balance of vitamins.  This is not as complicated as it sounds.

I was taught, at my psych (CAS) class that you don't have to effect a 180 degree change to help yourself - a 5 degree will make a tremendous difference and now I know how right they were.

Instead of, for example, having cornflakes or toast, both simple carbs if you go for plain cornflakes and white bread, for breakfast, change to Oatibix or porage for breakfast with skimmed milk instead of whole. If you miss the sweetness of sugar, add a few berries or a banana - very sweet but a better source of sweetness than refined sugar.

The added bonus to this healthier choice, is that you will feel full for much longer than with the simple carbs as complex carbs release their energy much more slowly and you don't get the 'sugar-rush' and subsequent drop at mid-morning, opening you up to that doughnut!

So just small changes can make a big difference. If you feel full, you're less likely to fall foul of that packet of biscuits.

Now, the op doesn't do it all for you. It is just a tool to help you. It will help you feel full and therefore limit your portion sizes but it will only do this as long as you do not overload it.  It is ENTIRELY possible to re-stretch your pouch and people do, all the time.  So YOU have to CHOOSE to work with your tool and not against it.


February 14th 2015

Well, barring a couple of days, it is my two year 'Oper-versary' and I am still feeling great!  

My weight is still more than i would like (isn't any woman's...?)  but I am what approximates a 'normal' person now and it is wonderful.

I have a new job (wouldn't have stood a chance before) in the Civil Service as
and have 'rescued' three ex-battery hens! They are so lovely and it's nice to know you have helped some beautiful Ladies cheat death and a prospect of being canned for cheap soup or dog-food.

Bit late with the photo and it's not in the usual place but it's better than nothing - I ended up doing a selfie as my OH has still not managed to take one for me despite being reminded several times! It will be year three before he manages it! :D

So, no, still not Cindy Crawford but ask me if I care...!  For nearly 63, I'm happy with myself for the first time in many, many years.

There are very few photos of me 'before'. As with most obese people - I'm camera shy - really don't want to be reminded just how far short of the average 'desired image' I actually fall so no piccies to speak of. But I found these - hiding in both of them, of course.....

...and this was not at my biggest either.....

I lost my hair - which had been lovely most of the time, and at the time of my op, down to my waist.

 But hair ? Schmair !  Sooner have my health back, thanks!
It's growing in nicely now and in good order too but can't wait to have the straggly bits cut off! 

I have my very last consult with the dietician at the end of the month for my sign-off and I can see no problems except if the fact I keep forgetting to take my supplements turns out to be an issue.... 

Speak soon!


16th June 2015

Sooooo...tired today. Done absolutely nothing but sleep and read (and not much of that - keep falling asleep!)
It's like my battery was taken out.

I've felt so well for the last two and a half years since my op - it's been amazing and very welcome but I still get very tired and I still don't sleep well (s'pose those two things go together really!)

I've been eating not so well since Easter and as a consequence, put on nearly a stone so this week I'm making a great effort not to eat crap. 

Not had chocolate for four days (I was doing well until a team-mate brought in  caramel flapjacks last Friday! :O) and will NOT have any more ever again - I cannot be trusted with the stuff!
'..Just a little one won't hurt...' well - YES it does -  to me - it's the thin end of the wedge. So no more. Not even one.

So, with my improved eating plan I'm hoping my energy follows enough for me to start enjoying walking my dogs again. I don't at the moment as I'm so tired and my hip starts hurting quite soon ; but once that stone comes back off and my energy rises, I'm sure I'll get back into the rhythm again.

Did I not say ? My brain has been a bit foggy too - not as fast as it used to be.
I live in fear that the Fibro will re-emerge. :(

My new job takes a lot out of me - it's hard starting a new career at 63 and I so wish I could retire but having no income for about six years has cocked up all my financial arrangements so I have to work now.

My doctor, in his wisdom, decided he 'didn't believe in' Fibromyalgia so I got not one penny in benefits for the whole of the time since I left Laura Ashley when I became unwell with my liver, despite having worked all my adult life apart from a few years when I had all four of my children at 'little' school.

I'm in work again this evening so must go and get myself ready.

Speak soon

Well, it is very nearly the fourth anniversary of my embarkation onto this path and I have to say I STILL think it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.

I'm still not Cindy Crawford ( hehehe...) but I've kept it off (up and down a little - like a NORMAL human being) and have settled at 16 stones a the mo. I have been lighter but had to suffer three weeks of the flu to get to 15 stones - not recommended!

Fibro is still lurking but not blossoming and I absolutely appreciate that fact - I wouldn't wish Fibro on my worst enemy.

Now we're nearly in February, I'm going back to my 'clean' eating and will try to fit some exercise in too - work allowing.  I don't seem to have time to turn around at the minute - the Christmas deccies haven't been completely packed away yet .....!

To anyone thinking of taking this path, it's not for the faint-hearted but if you are determined to get your health, your body and your life back - it worked for me and I so appreciate the NHS for helping me with that.

I still have some dietary limitations (I can't eat and drink at the same time so no cuppa with a biccie or burger with a glass of something cold.   No bubbles so Prosecco and Coke/Lemonade are out.  I do get the odd 'air-bubble' which is unpleasant but usually my own fault because I've tried to drink too close to eating.   I have acid reflux so no eating/drinking at least an hour before bed.

I have to use some discipline but that's not a bad thing.  I still stick to the three tablespoons rule and find I actually CAN'T eat more than that. I don't even need to measure now. I get really hungry when i should and i get really sated when i should. That didn't happen before.

Dr.Gabriel Weston called it a 'slow burn' which is a very good description of how I was before. I never got really hungry but then I was never totally sated either - always in a state of eternal 'mooch'.  I could eat a full box of Thorntons Continentals and not miss a beat before. I can't eat more than three in a row now and, to be honest, don't really like them much any more. My tastes have totally changed for the better.  I still love chocolate but a few squares is more than enough.       No - I didn't believe that was possible either ;) ! lol!

Hope you all have a fab 2017 and if you want to do it - then DO IT!


I thought it was about time to update this little journey. There has been nothing of note in the last months except I did go up to 16st 5lbs - so that had to come off again.

It was sooooo hard!   Christmas wasn't a problem - I didn't eat much at all - but New Year saw us with all kinds of chocolates and goodies, just waiting to be got rid of and as some of those chocolates were pressies from friends, I felt bad just giving them away.  I should have just given them away anyhow as the dreaded sugar-addiction got me in it's thrall again... :(  I really shouldn't have ANY chocolate - it's like crack cocaine to me.    I always think - 'I can do this - just have a couple'... but I really can't.
SO, I decided to join the 'Sugar Free February' thing instead.
I psyched myself up the second two weeks of January eating anything except chocolate then February, once I was off the choc, I came off everything else with sugar in it.

It was just as hard as the first time... :(

But I had a secret weapon this time... ;)

One of my sons has temporarily come home to live and he is very serious about healthy eating and exercise. He goes to a personal trainer and whilst he doesn't know it all (I know some stuff he didn't ;) )  our combined knowledge and willpower is a great help!

Mind you - it works the other way too - we were both sitting there the other night with Haagen Dazs and wine in our mitts... ;) Dunno who is the worst influence! lol!

But that's just it - you CAN have goodies occasionally. As my Rob says - if you are strict 80% of the time then yeah - have that Haagen Dazs or Echo Falls but then get back to the high protein.

I have to say, the high protein - low carb thing works very well for me but I have a slight problem. I am pretty much veggie.
I don't eat chicken  ( I rescue ex-battery hens) , turkey, pork or lamb and I am rapidly going off fish....  I am trying, very hard, not to put myself off the very little minced beef and black pudding I have and have re-introduced bacon into my diet just for the protein.

But I am trying hard not to let it give me an excuse to give up.

So this last couple of weeks has been very difficult.

My work is in the evenings - exactly when you would have your main meal.

Before I go is too early for me for main meal - I'd fall asleep in work! And the idea of eating big at 11:00pm is a no-no as I have acid reflux - it would kill me all night.

So I take stuff with me and graze.

Doesn't always work as there is always temptation in work - a birthday with cake, or one of the team will bring in doughnuts for everyone and all you hear all night is sweetie wrappers crackling and crinkling and coffee mugs being filled.

But I find if I take high protein food in with me in my little box and eat it right away, rather than wait until my 8:00pm break, I'm too full or at least satisfied enough to resist - I managed to resist three doughnuts and Christening cake last week!

So with the help of my son and My Fitness Pal app on my phone, I managed to get down from 16st 5bs to 16st 1.5lbs over that three weeks.  Slow, but the right direction.

But that last 1.5lbs...?   Would that shift? Would it heck as like! :(

I was getting really fed up but it IS a lifestyle, not a 'diet' and I know how much better I feel when I remove carbs - especially sugar- from my diet.

I am in a sedentary occupation - oh let's not kid ourselves - I'm a sedentary person!  All my hobbies are sitting down or , at least, not rushing about.  My knees won't let me stand for enormous long periods - I found that out in October at the last standing gig I went to - four hours is way too much for me now ;)

So my gob is the only weapon I have and I must make sure I use it.

So I persevered. My own BLT is bacon and tomato and a tiny half-teaspoon of mayo (Hellman's full fat - none of that low-fat muck) but wrapped in a lettuce leaf, not bread.

For my money my bread-free BLT is way tastier than the bread wrapped one.
None of that sticky cloying gloop stuck to the roof of your palate.

I actually went to Slimming World for a week or so but all they seem to be interested in is fitting as much food/wine into their bodies as they can and still lose weight.
I'm sorry but anyone who says to a 22stone woman 'you can eat all the fruit you want' deluded and clearly not as knowledgeable as she thinks she is!

Fruit, good though it is for you, is stuffed full of sugar. By all means include some in your diet but in moderation and always counted.  Same goes for juices and smoothies.


  1. Am enjoying reading your Journey Eileen - you are so upbeat too and comical - perhaps when you are at the other side of the journey you should write a book it would definitley be fab reading for women who may be thinking of embarking on this journey as you have - hugs and love Aly xxxx

    1. Awww...thank you kindly Aly! If I can help somebody and all that...! LOL!
      I'll give you a signed copy when the time comes! LOL!

  2. Well done Ei, those ankles have been reclaimed, slight hiccup Monday but on the right track, wish you everything you want from your journey and I'll be right there behind you and reading your exploits everyday- lots of love and hugs <3

    1. Thanking you so much Lynn - it's great to have some friends along for the ride - no point in me humiliating myself if there's no-one there to see, is there...? LOL!

  3. i love you and your sense of humour to bits wishing you all the best on your new journey we'll be here every step of the way and you know where i am if u want to chat xxxxxxxx

  4. ...awww...Thank you Di! I really appreciate you saying that.
    All will be well - I'm not afraid at all, a bit excited really but a little trepidation about the unknown.... !
    Will 'see' you all next week or even later this week depending on how I recover.

  5. What an incredible lady you are! Such will power. I joined a diary keeping thing on the net & managed to fill in the info for 2 days & forgot after that:( But I am hoping when the weather improves, to go walks with the dogs:) looking forward to reading how you are feeling after you have now had the op:) xx

    1. Thank you so much Liz - your support and that of my other good friends, means a lot and helps in ways you can't imagine.
      And thank you also for the beautiful card and meaningful message - very much appreciated.
      Hugs Ei x

  6. Eileen, you are amazing! I'm loving the blog and yes, I'm sure you should turn it all into a book, I can see it being no end of help to anyone going through the same procedure. Plus, of course, it would be worth it for the entertainment factor as well! I hope all your hard work and commitment pays dividends, honey, you deserve a massive (but gentle!) pat on the back. xx

    1. Thank you so much Batty!
      I'm very glad you're enjoying my pain and's be rude not to wouldn't it...? LOL!

      More tomorrow - hopefully, less exciting than today....
      Hugs Ei x

  7. Great to read your journey Eileen. Hope you have a lovely time with Toby for his birthday xx

  8. Thank you so much Tracy - very kind of you!
    Clips come out tomorrow morning...!

    Hugs Ei x

  9. I'm so proud of you Ei, glad the clips came out well, we both had grandsons birthdays yesterday aswell. You made your 'under 20 stone' goal so a huge well done. I'm just glad that naughty chicken didn't do to much damage - love and hugs hun

    1. Hi Crafty Nanna - Thank you so much for your lovely comment, The clips were very well-behaved and so was Toby for his party too! It was a lovely, if mad, day!
      The 'under 20st' was a biggie for me. I can't wait for more to get lost!
      Hugs Ei x

  10. Bet that shower felt good, hope hubby managed to get the correct shoppping!

  11. Sorry to hear you havn't been feeling to well Ei, I hope it clears soon for you. I do hope you manage to get a few decent nights slepp to help you along - lots of lova and hugs as always to a special and very brave friend

  12. Ei, just realised 18st 13lbs is great going, that's well over a stone, you go girl!!

    1. Hi Lynn - sorry not been on to rely - had a couple of difficult days but will update now. Thank you so much for your continued support! It's very much appreciated.
      Hugs Ei x

    2.'s actually now three stone from before the op. I was originally 21 st 6lbs before I started the pre-op diet!

  13. you are doing wonderfully well Eileen keep it up we are proud of you Hugs Mary x

    1. Thank you Mary - that is so lovely of you and very much appreciated!
      I'll be a supermodel soon! LOL!
      Hugs Ei x

  14. Oh Eileen I've just read you last three days and although I am really sympathetic I must admit I laughed quite a bit you do tell it as it is don't you ? I'm sorry to report I'm really enjoying your "big fat journey" and look forward to my nightly fix . You are a very brave lady to put it all down and I do hope you can get a publisher it would make a great read Keep it up we really are proud of you Love and Hugs Mary x

    1. I'm so glad my pain is affording SOMEONE some amusement Mary...Perhaps I should do it again or break a leg or something - y'know, give you all a proper laugh....?! ROTFL...!
      Seriously Mary, I am really glad you're enjoying my ramblings. I've a terrible memory (Fibro fog!) so If I don't write stuff down, I completely forget the details. I don't get stuff wrong - it's either there or it isn't! So the best way I could remember all of this for myself as well as for other's is to write is down as a journal. If my language is somewhat flowery sometimes, that is because that's how I actually feel at the time and this is supposed to be a truthful 'warts and all' account so I'm pulling no punches! LOL! I suppose I should look for a good lawyer.....
      Ei x

  15. I've just caught up with your blog Eileen you sound as if you are doing reqaally well although the trouble getting your meds is a bit of a nuisance isn't it? I do feel for you as we can get our repeats by phone. The chemisy picks up our scripts from the surgery and delivers our meds the next day.they are making things difficult for you when their job should be support I do hope you can get it sorted so that you don't have to go without medication that is so important Good luck and keep up the good work Hugs Mary x

    1. Mary, thank you for hanging in there with me! LOL! It's good to have company on my journey and even more so if it's an old friend.
      Oh, and check my update for more laughs....! LOL!

  16. Hope you didn't get to worn out with Toby and that Nic's mum's arm heals well for her.

    Regards the GOP's see if they do internet prescriptions you can just nip online to book them then, it does mean you can do it at anytime not just whe the surgery is open which can be quite helpful. Goodluck and hugs

  17. Toby is a darling Lynne - really lovely kiddie. He just plays and watches tv - loves Peppa Pig and Mike the knight! LOL!
    Nic's Mum is 'comfortable', they say, but clearly, a broken arm will take a while to heal.
    Shouldn't think our surgery have anything so techy as online script services - they can barely manage it the old-fashioned way - but I will ask the next time I need to communicate with them!
    Thank you for your continued interest and support Hunni!

  18. Sorry to hear the nightmare you are having with gp...but hopefully it will be all sorted now.
    Hope you and your family have a lovely easter x

    1. Hi Tracy,
      Have to say, I've not actually spoken to my GP himself - it's mainly the reception staff or whatever organization they use to put scripts in place etc., that is the problem. Something in the machine isn't working smoothly and some of the reception staff don't make it any easier with their lack of people skills. Easter wishes to you and yours too Hunni!

  19. Ei, it's good news that you finally got your meds but I would actually put in a written complaint about the actions of the two receptionists to your Practice Manager. One about the fact that they left you standing and then tried to stop you seeing the Practice Manager and the second about their absolute rudeness. The correct way is always patient first and then chatter only of you have time!! Also, they should keep clear records if a patients meds go to a chemist so why did they not follow the system to check your screen and the book or whatever they keep the details in to tell you straight away where your script had gone. We'd be losing our jobs if we worked like that. Hugs hun and keep up the good work

  20. To be fail Lynn - they didn't try to stop me speaking to her - they just could be bothered getting off their arses to go look for her.

    I'v worked all my life (as you know) in customer-facing roles and much of it encompassing customer care/relations and I wouldn't have either of these working in my department. Their sensitivity towards a suffering patient was nil. I allow for the fact that I do present well, even when in pain (stiff upper lip and all that) but the discomfort I was in in both of these recent cases must have been apparent to a partially-sighted person, never mind someone who works in a health-profession. I would certainly have been re-trained at the very least and I was only an Estate Agent! 'Eye contact and smile' - the mantra of customer service...! LOL!
    Hugs Ei x

  21. OOh Ei, under 18 stone now - way to go girl - you deserve that gesso playtime xXx

    1. I think so too Lynn! LOL! And boy did I!
      I've half-done about five projects whilst the sun was shining and I could mix and smear my Gesso to my heart's content in the garden (you shouldn't really mix it indoors, if it can be avoided as the marble dust/talc/plaster is very bad for the lungs...) and my pieces dried in record time because of the wind. I actually hung some of them on the washing line - goodness knows what the neighbours must have made of it all! LOL!
      Will do 'show and tell' when they're finished.
      Hugs Ei x

  22. Ei, the pin the tail Princess was lovely I'm sure Ada loved it. You are doing so well with your weight, my reckoning is about 3 stone now (or has my maths gone wrong?)- that's a great feat and you are an inspiration to us all by keeping so cheerful about it all. Hope the botty is now definitely sorted and no more episodes occur, take care, so proud of you and what you have achieved. Hugs

    1. I've gone from a starting weight after Christmas of 21st 6lbs and as far as I know (not due to weigh until Tuesday) I'm now 17st 10lbs so that is just four pounds off four stone, to my reckoning....? I need to get to that 17st 6lbs...! LOL!
      One of the ladies on the support site is now a size eight and is still classed as overweight.....(gasp!) HOW? She must be 4ft tall! I'll be very amazed if I see a size 16, never mind an eight!...but I'll give it a darn good shot!
      Thank you so much for your support Lynn - it means more than you can know!
      Ei x

  23. I've just caught up with your progress Ei and congratulations you are doing so well and as Lynn sais so cheefull about all the dicomfort etc.I love reading your posts, and am sorry you have a bad throat, you could have done without anynmore complications. look after yourself keep warm and keep taking the lemsips they are so comforting
    Have a good week and keep smiling Hugs Mary

  24. Thank you so much Mary - your visits are very much appreciated as is your support.
    I will get there eventually! LOL! I can't afford not to...! If I had stayed in my previous condition, I'd have been dead in five years - I was becoming more and more disabled every day and we all know what the present government think about anyone who isn't able-bodied ! Besides, I'd make a very bad patient...! LOL! I'm so relieved the pain has now gone - that was the worst and I have no idea why the Fibro has receded at all - unless it's diet-related? I'm just ecstatic it has...! Hugs Ei x

  25. So glad that things are getting a little easier for you Ei, I bet Ada is really proud of her Nan too. <3

  26. Oh Lynn - I can't tell you how much easier EVERYTHING is! I don't think Ada's noticed actually - she loved me before anyway so I think I'm just 'Nanna' no matter what I look like!
    I must pop some more up to date pic on too...!
    Hugs Ei x

  27. Lovely to read the story from beginning to now although i have heard bits and bobs over the months..
    I hope you succeed in loosing all that weight and that you are more mobile too............
    Great to know you..

    1. Thank you so much Hunni - very much appreciated.

      It's not 'the easy way' as some would have you believe but for some of us it's the 'only way'. You still have to drastically change your lifestyle only you have the life-threatening/saving operation too!
      No, I wouldn't call it easy but neither would I ever regret it.
      Ei x

  28. Enjoying the updates Ei and just so happy for you that things are going so well. You deserve to get back to that 16 as you have worked so hard.

    Hugs hun

  29. Thank you so much Lynn!
    I'll keep on slogging...! LOL!
    Ei x

  30. Dunno what's going on with my sig - it's gone crackers! LOL!


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